Hercules in New York

Far in the dim past. . .

when myth and history

merged into mystery

and the gods of fable

and the primitive beliefs of man

dwelt on ancient

Mount Olympus,

in antique Greece

a legendary hero walked

godlike upon the earth. . .

sometimes.

Man:
Why can't I go?

Because your place

is here with the rest of us.

- You let Mars travel.

- That's his job.

U ntil mankind learns to dispense

with his services

and lives in peace,

Mars must go where he's called.

I only want

to browse around.

You'd only get into trouble.

I have been here

thousands of years.

- I am bored.

- Don't interrupt your father!

Besides. . .

these mortals are

bedeviled by

as aggravating a collection

of annoyances

as it is possible for one

to imagine.

It may not be entirely

without merit,

- but you wouldn't like it there.

- Let me be the judge of that.

I am tired of the same old faces,

the same old things.

Tired or not,

you're staying here!

Woman:
Zeus, I beg of you,

Hercules is only hotheaded.

He does not mean to oppose

your wishes.

Mind your own business,

Venus.

He has grown insufferable.

I will not be bearded to my face

by this insolent young whelp.

He's only a demigod.

He gives himself airs

his mortal birth does not warrant.

My mother may have been a mortal,

but you, Zeus, my father,

are a god.

I will discuss this

no further.

Does this mean I have

Zeus' permission to leave?

It means you will stay.

I don't wish to hear

another word on the subject.

I won't stay.

You are trying my patience,

Hercules.

- You are trying mine.

- Heed my words!

Nobody will stop me.

How dare you address

such remarks to your father!

It's easy.

Why you offensive puppy!

Perhaps this will teach you

respect for your elders!

Venus:
Zeus,

Hercules is half mortal.

- He may be killed.

- He's only a spoiled youth.

Save him.

Hercules is your son.

Forgive him!

If I had known how much trouble

it would cause me,

I'd have thought twice when I met

his mother on vacation.

Aahh!

- Tell me what's wrong.

- I just saw a man.

Yes, my dear, that's not unusual.

There are men on this airplane.

No, outside!

- He was flying.

- Outside?

Yes, he just passed my window.

Stewardess!

And he was. . .

he was naked!

And he was just going down,

flying.

- And he. . .

- We're traveling at 30,000 feet.

No man,

nude or otherwise,

could possibly be flying

outside a jet plane.

Oh, he was very handsome.

And he had big muscles.

And he was practically naked.

Oh, dear.

Oh, my.

I shouldn't have taken Agatha

to see all those Greek statues.

She's so impressionable.

We throw ourselves

at Zeus' feet.

Woman:
Get up,

you stupid creatures.

Let Hercules suffer the consequences

of his own obstinacy.

J uno has hated Hercules

ever since the day of his birth.

All right! Do not be

disrespectful to my wife.

Let us see what

he is doing now.

( claps hands )

He's in the sea now.

He will drown!

Save him, Great Zeus.

It will take more than Neptune

or any of his creatures

- to overcome a son of Zeus.

- Save him, Zeus!

Save Hercules!

All right, all right.

I have done so.

Behold, coming over

the horizon of the sea.

( ship's horn blows )

What were you doing

out in the water?

- Swimming.

- A hundred miles from land?

I fell.

- Fell?

- Yes.

How did that happen?

- There was an explosion.

- Oh?

- What ship?

- Ship?

From which you

were blown overboard.

Olympus.

There's a Greek freighter

by that name.

- What's your name?

- Hercules.

- Greek, huh?

- Very old family.

Sir?

It's all right,

I'm democratic.

You're addressing the captain

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