Hell Baby

Synopsis: An expectant couple who moves into the most haunted house in New Orleans call upon the services of the Vatican's elite exorcism team to save them from a demonic baby.
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Production: Millenium Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
98 min

- Home.

- Home.

Here's to low-balling the seller

and still getting 50,000 off

after the home inspection.

We could paint this place

today, sell it tomorrow

and still make money.

Yes, we could.

- I love you, Jack Watson.

- I love you.

Now, let me carry you over

that goddamn threshold.

Ooh! Wait, stop.

- Let's not squander the moment!

- I peed a little bit.

- Oh, God! Really? Eugh!

- No, it's OK. It's just...

The babies are pushing on my bladder.

Will you hand me a

tissue? A paper towel?

- I got it.

- Thanks, baby.

- Hi!

- New, uh...

- Sorry.

- New parents, soon to be.

Jack. Vanessa.

Hi! She pees a lot.


Come on. Ah! Oh, my God!

If it makes you feel any better,

I just peed a little bit too.

- Jesus, you are fat! Oh, my God!

- Honey! Honey!

Oh, my God!

- Oh!

- Please stop!

Oh! Oh, my God!

- Oh! Ow! Sh*t!

- Sweetie!

What are you doing?!

What are you doing?

I found this lamp up in the attic.

I thought I'd get it working again.


Oh, sh*t! That hurt so bad!

Please, God, let it be.

That thing'll kill somebody.

Alright. Alright.

Oh! I know what I want you to do.

If you have time, I

would really love for you

to paint over the "Ms 13"

graffiti on the front porch,

first thing.

- My God, you're so adorable.

- Why am I...

"Ms 13". It's "MS-13".

Mara Salvatrucha. It's this

gang out of El Salvador.

It's the deadliest gang in the world.

One of the... Don't tell the Crips that.

But they're the deadliest

gang in the world.

So not only is our new house tagged,

it's tagged by a famous gang.

Yeah. It's like Banksy.

You know how much you love Banksy.

It's like that, except, you know,

with knives and face tattoos.

- Oh, my God.

- What?

This is the worst idea of our fives.

The Lower Lower Garden District?


People don't even know

this neighbourhood exists.

No, that's actually not

true. That's not true.

White people don't know that

this neighbourhood exists.

This neighbourhood is on the upswing.

I read all about it in "Dwell".

You're not just a little

nervous in this house?


There is not one thing to

be afraid of in this house.

- OK?

- OK.

Oh, my God! Honey! Get something!

Goodness gracious,

y'all gave me a fright!

What are you doing out there?

I'm so sorry

- I was just standin' in your breezeway

like some kind

of ne'er-do-well.

Well, come on in. Make yourself at home.

I absolutely will do

that, thank you very much.

Please allow me to introduce

myself. I am Fresnel Edmonds.

I live across the way over here.

And you are Jack and Vanessa!

Jack, you're a PhD student

at Tulane University.

How are you? Vanessa.

You are an occupational therapist

expecting your first baby.

- Yep.

- Wow. You know a lot about us.

Come on, y'all

- you can't move into the 'Maison de Sang'

and not raise a few eyebrows.

- Frenell?

- F'resnel.

It's spelled just like it sounds.

Yeah, F-apostrophe-R-E-S-N-E-L.

It's really nice to meet you.

It's very nice to meet

the two of you as well.

- Sorry we screamed.

- I'm sorry I screamed.

- Did you say 'Maison de Sang'?

- Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's what

all the locals call it.

That's the name we've been

using for years and years.

Oh! Well, that's cool.

This place has a nickname already.

It's like 'Tara' or 'Twelve Oaks'.

- A little bit like that.

- Well, that's very Southern.

It is very Southern. What does it mean?

- 'House of Blood'.

- What?

'House of Blood'.

And, of course, the

Cajuns, they like to call it

'Lieu O Les Morts

Ne Sommeillent Jamais'.

- Oh, I like that.

- Ain't that pretty?

- I love the sound.

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Robert Ben Garant

Robert Ben Garant (born September 14, 1970) is an American screenwriter, producer, director, actor and comedian. He has a long professional relationship with Thomas Lennon, from their time on the seminal sketch-comedy show The State, the cop show spoof Reno 911!, and numerous screenwriting collaborations. more…

All Robert Ben Garant scripts | Robert Ben Garant Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Hell Baby" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 26 Jan. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hell_baby_9811>.

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