Hedwig and the Angry Inch Page #4

early late 20s,

I had just been dismissed

from university

after delivering

a brilliant lecture

on the aggressive influence

of German philosophy

on rock and roll, entitled,

"You, Kant, Always

Get What You Want."

At 26, my academic career

was over,

I had never

kissed a boy,

and I was

still sleeping with Mom.

The search

for my other half

on my side of The Wall

had proved futile.

Might he be found

on the other?

But how to get over?

People died trying.

Such were the thoughts

flooding my tiny head,

on the day that

I was sunning myself...

in an old bomb crater

I had discovered

near The Wall.

I am naked,

face down on a piece

of broken church,

inhaling a fragrant

westerly breeze,

my God, I deserved

a break today.

Girl,

I sure don't mean

to annoy you.

My name is

Sergeant Luther Robinson.

My name is Hansel.

Luther is silent for a moment

as he stares at my...

"Iittle bishop

in a turtleneck."

Hansel?

Well, you must

like candy.

I like Gummi Baerchen.

The taste is completely

different from a Gummi Bear,

yet somehow familiar.

It's much sweeter

than a Gummi Bear.

And softer, too.

I feel

so optimistic.

I suddenly recognised

the flavour in my mouth--

it's the taste

of power.

Damn, Hansel.

I can't believe

you're not a girl.

You're so fine.

Why don't you take

the whole bag?

He searches my face

for news of his fate.

His expression is echoed

in scores of tiny faces,

pressing against

clear plastic,

panting faces of every

imaginable colour,

creed,

and non-Aryan origin,

fogging up the bag

Iike the windows

of a Polish bathhouse.

through the ruins,

back towards blander,

less complicated confections,

Ieaving in my wake,

a trail of rainbow carnage.

Next day, Hansel follows

the trail back,

and on his way

finds a Milky Way,

a roll of Necco Wafers,

some Pop Rocks,

and a giant-sized Sugar Daddy

named Luther.

I've got

a sweet tooth

For licorice drops

and jelly rolls

Hey, sugar daddy

Hansel needs some sugar

in his bowl

I'll lay out fine chinaon the linen

And polish up

the chrome

If you've got

some sugar for me

Sugar daddy,

bring it home

Oh, the thrill

of control

Like the rush

of rock and roll

It's the sweetest taste

I've known

If you've got some sugar,

bring it home.

Looks like we've got

some sugar daddies

in the house.

Honey bees

go shopping

It's something

to be seen.

You could give me

a cavity, honey.

They swarm

to wildflowers

Get nectar

for the queen.

I bet you could fill

that cavity, sweetie.

And everything

you bring me Got me dripping

like a honeycomb

If you got

some sugar for me

Sugar daddy,

bring it home.

It's a car wash,

ladies and gentlemen.

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