Heartbeats Page #3

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He lived in BerIin,

me, on Dorion St, so...

l guess l was in love with,

you know, taking the plane and

l dunno, landing, the cafs,

the cigarettes and...

wind from elsewhere,

his accent.

It doesn't exist.

I'm the concept you love.

You love the concept more than him.

I'm the distance you love.

But when there's no more distance...

When...

when there's no more ocean to cross

and all there's left to cross

is a hallway...

Anyway,

it's over now.

The letter l got two days after

our evening out.

"My dear Julien,

l can't stop thinking

about our enchanting tte--tte.

Your humor and gallanty seduced me.

Yesterday l went to

the Northland Mall with the girls.

l think l found your perFume.

ls it by chance Insurrection

from Colin Arpel, by chance?"

No, it's not.

"My top moment of our night?

Definitely when you kissed me

on the cheek at the metro station,

almost grazing my cheek.

I shut my eyes

and felt transported

to the ChampEURlyses."

C HAN S:

EUR Ll S EUR S.

He calls me Miss.

Uses "vous" with me.

Who are we,

f***ing de Musset and Georges Sand?

P*ssy-footing. l hate p*ssy-footing.

Now he's ruining

all my favorite places because

when he's not there,

having a beer with friends...

When he's not there,

I'm bored.

I'm no fun.

Yet, the weather's nice,

birds are singing, the wine's good...

l mean:
Shut up, b*tch!

But it's no fun.

When he's there, watch out!

Like l popped 5 tabs of speed.

l say hi to eveyone.

l act like I'm straight om the farm.

St Donat. Howdy!

Worst, l hardly talk to him.

But l know he sees me.

You see people even if you don't look.

Like, if you're there.

And I'm looking here.

I see you.

I'm not looking, but l see you.

l know

where you're looking. l know

you're looking at me.

Mother f***er.

OK.

You smell good.

Thanks.

Oh, God...

"Tick-tock goes your biological clock,

but where is Mister Right?

Modern fashionistas,

what kind of man makes you drool?

ofyour dreams."

What, now?

Yeah.

Brown hai... brown eyes.

For sure. Brown hair.

Down to here, about.

Short.

No, short... Well, curIy.

Below the ears.

Almost shoulder-length.

Curly, blond.

And green eyes, maybe.

This is so beautiful.

"ln love when l ask for a look,

what is deeply unsatising

and always futile,

is that you never look at me

from where l see you."

Smoke break. I'll wait outside.

My friends!

My friend!

Where do we put the gifts?

Sh*t, l am so wasted.

l've never been this drunk

in my life!

- What?

- Where do we put the gifts?

Oh yeah, right!

I:

At the end of the hall

the room to the right

of the dining room.

They bought me presents!

That's so cute!

Wow.

He's super drunk.

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