He Said, She Said Page #3

He's strong, aloof,

destined to live alone.

He's his own man, his own wolf.

He's his own Wolfman.

He knows he can't get close to anyone,

because when the moon is full...

Bingo! Somebody is gonna get hurt.

So he takes his intimacy where he can,

a night here, a night there...

Other women fall for this sh*t, huh?

It's not sh*t. I deeply believe in this.

Sounds like an excuse to me.

Sooner or later,

even the Wolfman has to choose.

- Ready to order, Miss?

- Oh, yes.

I will start with...

...monogamy, then commitment...

...and then I will have the marriage.

The marriage comes with commitment.

Unless you'd like

something on the side.

Oh, no, not me.

But maybe children later.

Good choice, ma'am.

- The monogamy is good here.

- And you, sir?

Just a side order of sex, please.

Sorry, sir,

it only comes with commitment.

I'll make it easy for you.

I'll take the complete dinner.

Hold the commitment and monogamy,

bring me the sex, and we're all happy.

- You don't want monogamy?

- Can't you read the sign?

Do you need more time to decide?

I hear the ravioli here is great.

Yeah, sure. Ravioli sounds fine.

When I'm editor,

I'll give you another chance.

When you're editor, I'll be long gone.

Don't feel sorry for me.

- Sh*t!

- What's wrong?

My contact, it popped out.

God, I'm always doing this.

Hang on. I'm excellent at this.

I have an uncanny power. Watch.

Attention, everybody, please.

Nobody move.

My friend has just lost a contact lens.

So everybody just stop!

Just look down and...

Oh, boy.

Was that it?

I don't know, I can't see.

We've got it.

Thanks. Thank you.

I'm really sorry.

How am I going to drive? I'll have

to read my column with one eye.

What?

What?

- I'm sorry. It's just...

- What?

...funny. Don't you think it's funny?

Hey, that's stealing.

Wait, I just want to say,

before we look,

whatever happens,

I had a good time tonight.

OK.

- I don't believe it.

- Goddammit!

This is not fair.

Only one of us was supposed to win.

- It was mine in the first place.

- It's nice of them to...

- Nice?

- It's me who should be upset.

Listen, buster. The only reason

they ran yours at all is because...

...you have a penis.

Well, why didn't you show them yours?

Hey, forget it.

I had a terrible time tonight.

- Dan, good job. You showed her.

- What do you mean? She's right.

Did we read the same column?

- Hey, Phil. The usual.

- You got it.

You gonna stare at me all night,

or are you gonna buy me a drink?

And one of whatever

this young lady's having.

- You're the literary type, huh?

- Depends. What type do you like?

Oh, men about your height.

Men about your size.

- But we must work on the clothes.

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