Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Scene 1:
In a cage.

LOCATION:
Little Whinging, Surrey – night

LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night

HARRY:
I can’t let you out, Hedwig. I’m not allowed to use magic outside of

school. Besides, if Uncle VernonUNCLE

VERNON:
Harry Potter!

HARRY:
Now you’ve done it.

AUNT PETUNIA:
He’s in there. Vernon...

UNCLE VERNON:
I’m warning you, if you can’t control that bloody bird it’ll

have to go.

HARRY:
But she’s bored! If I could only let out for an hour or twoUNCLE

VERNON:
Huh, huh! So you could send secret messages to you freaky

little friends. No, sir!

HARRY:
But I haven’t had any messages from any of my friends... not one...

all summer.

DUDLEY:
Who’d want to be friends with you?

UNCLE VERNON:
I should think you’d be a little more grateful. We’ve raised

you since you were a baby, given you the food off our table, even let you

have Dudley’s second bedroom, purely out of the goodness of our hearts.

AUNT PETUNIA:
Not now, Bopkins. For when the Masons arrive.

UNCLE VERNON:
Which should be any minute! Ahem...Now let’s go over our

schedule once again, shall we? Petunia when the Masons arrive you will be...?

AUNT PETUNIA:
...in the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously into our

home.

UNCLE VERNON:
Good! And- and Dudley, you will be...?

DUDLEY:
I’ll be waiting to open the door!

UNCLE VERNON:
Excellent! ...And you...?

HARRY:
I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don’t

exist.

UNCLE VERNON:
Too right, you will. With any luck, this could well be the day

I make the biggest deal of my career. And you will not mess it up!

Scene 2:
Dobby’s warning.

LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night

(Ding-dong!)

UNCLE VERNON:
Mr. and Mrs. Mason! Do come in!

DOBBY:
Ha- ha- ha! Ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho! Ha, ha! Harry Potter! Such an honor it

is!

HARRY:
Who are you?

DOBBY:
Dobby sir, Dobby the house elf.

HARRY:
Not to be to be rude or anything, but this isn’t a great time for me

to have a house elf in my bedroom.

DOBBY:
Oh, oh yes, sir! Dobby understands! It’s just that, Dobby has come to

tell you- it is difficult, sir- Dobby wonders where to begin?

HARRY:
Why don’t you sit down?

DOBBY:
S-sit down? S-sit- sit down? Oh, oh, ho. Oh, ho, ho... Oh, ho, ho.

Ohh, ho, hoo...

HARRY:
Dobby, ssh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you, or anything.

DOBBY:
Offend Dobby? Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but never has he

been asked to sit down by a wizard, like an equal.

HARRY:
You can’t have met many decent wizards then.

DOBBY:
No, I haven’t. That was an awful thing to say. Bad Dobby!

HARRY:
Stop, Dobby!

DOBBY:
Bad Dobby!

HARRY:
Dobby, shh!

DOBBY:
Baaad Dobby!

HARRY:
Dobby, please stop!

LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Living room - night

UNCLE VERNON:
Ohh, don’t mind that! It’s just the cat.

LOCATION:
No. Four Privet Drive – Harry’s room - night

DOBBY:
Bad Dobby. Bad Dobby!

HARRY:
Stop! Stop, Dobby. Please be quiet! Are you all right?

DOBBY:
Dobby had to punish himself, sir. Dobby almost spoke ill of his

family, sir.

HARRY:
Your family?

DOBBY:
The wizard family Dobby serves, sir. Dobby is bound to serve one

family forever. If they ever knew Dobby was here...ooh... But Dobby had to

come. Dobby has to protect Harry Potter- to warn him. Harry Potter must not

go back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year! There is a

plot, a plot to make most terrible things happen.

HARRY:
What terrible things? Who’s plotting them?

DOBBY:
Ooo... er... can’t... say... argh...

HARRY:
Ok– I- understand. You can’t- say.

DOBBY:
Don’t make me talk, I— Errr...

HARRY:
Dobby! Dobby, put the lamp down.

DOBBY:
Bad Dobby.

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