Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay Page #4

- No.

- No, we didn't do...

No, you see, you have the wrong idea.

My idiot friend here

brought marijuana...

- on the plane.

- Yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Zip it, Hello Kitty. OK? I know

your operation's funded through drugs.

No. This is typical

government bullshit, sir. L...

- Hey, hey, hey. Shut up. Shut up!

- L...

- No, I'm trying to explain it! Harold!

- Shut up, shut up, shut up! Shut up!

Do we have the right

to make a phone call?

Yeah. Yeah!

I'm sorry. You want rights now.

You want freedoms right now.

Is it time? Is it freedom o'clock?

- Guess what.

- What?

Where you guys are going,

they have never even heard of rights.

Well, where are we going?

We're innocent men!

We're innocent men!

I'm an innocent man.

I donate blood.

And toys for tots.

And now I'm in Guantnamo Bay.

See why I'm against paying taxes?

Hey! Hey.

F*** you!

Dude, calm down, OK?

Look on the bright side.

There's a sink. There's a toilet.

The pillow actually

looks pretty comfortable.

OK. You don't speak to me, ever.

- Ever.

- OK.

- No! Shut up!

- OK.

So what are you guys in here for?

For giving the United States

a taste of their own medicine.

- You guys are real terrorists?

- Some call us terrorists.

Others call us heroes.

Screw that. You think you guys

are heroes for killing innocent people?

It's 'cause of a**holes like you

that we're even in this f***ing place...

you f***ing cowards!

Well, maybe if the people in your country

stopped eating donuts...

and started realizing what your

government is doing to the world...

a**holes like us wouldn't exist.

- F*** you! Donuts are awesome!

- They're delicious.

You like donuts?

Well, wait till you see

what they make you eat in here.

- Yeah?

- What do they make you eat in here?

L...

Ever hear of a cockmeat sandwich?

What's a cockmeat sandwich?

You're about to find out.

Right about now. Sucker.

All right, cockmeat sandwich time.

You know the drill.

What about them? They just got here!

Big Bob's taking care of them.

- Big Bob.

- Big Bob?

I hope you like donuts.

Let's go to work. Hey, listen, guys, enjoy.

Holy sh*t.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

- This is not good.

- No, Kumar, it is not good.

- I've never had to suck a dick before.

- Me neither.

I bet it sucks dick.

Sh*t, dude.

Please don't let it be Big Bob.

Please don't let it be Big Bob.

Please don't let it be Big Bob.

Come on.

Please don't let it be Big Bob.

Please don't let it be Big Bob.

Please don't let it be Big Bob.

- Please don't let it be Big Bob.

- I'm Big Bob.

- F***.

- Yes, you are.

You boys ready

for your cockmeat sandwich?

No?

Well, you better get hungry real fast...

'cause I got a whole lot of sandwich

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