Hannah Montana: Keeping It Real


Hey, Rico. What's going on over here?

A wonderful thing.

A wonderful, magical thing.

The mother ship's finally coming back

to take you to Planet Shortdork?



That generous billionaire over there

is donating a new playground.

Finally, the children will have a swing

to swing on, a slide to slide on...

And your hot dogs to spend money on?

Papa didn't raise no fool.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

it's time to hop

into the world of advertising.

Miley. Miley.




That guy over there.

When l saw him, it was like we were

the only two people on this beach.


They say that happens with true love.

What if it turns out that he's the one?

At your wedding, l'll be able to say that

l was standing right next to you when...

You completely ignored me

and walked away.

Ladies and gentlemen,

on behalf of my wife, Jeanette,

and myself, William Harris,

it's a great honor

to present to the city of Malibu

this check for the new William Harris

Playground and Recreation Center.




This isn't about me, William Harris.

This is about the children.


About the children,

and how happy they will be

playing at the William Harris

Playground and Recreation Center,

donated by me, William Harris.

Wow, l guess the only thing bigger

than that check is his big fat head.

Now, l want you to meet my son.

This ought to be good.


-That's me.

Of course it is.

(SINGING) Come on!

You get the limo out front

Hottest styles, every shoe

every color

Yeah, when you're famous

it can be kind of fun

It's really you

but no one ever discovers

Who would have thought

that a girl like me

Would double as a superstar?

You get the best of both worlds

Chill it out, take it slow

Then you rock out the show

You get the best of both worlds

Mix it all together

And you know that

it's the best of both worlds


Miley, it's been two days.

You got to forget about him.

l can't. l let him slip through my fingers

like this sand he walked on.

This beautiful, beautiful sand.

Bye-bye sand.

Okay, you talked to him

for like a minute.

-You don't even know him.


You're in love with Orlando Bloom,

and he doesn't even know you exist.

Yet. But he will. And then

you will watch the Lilly Bloom.

-Lilly Bloom?

-l know! How cool is that?

Lilly, l'm serious.

l can't get him out of my head,

and now he's gone.

lt's not like Orlando, where you can

just push ''play disc'' again.

And, in the shirtless scenes, slo-mo.


lnteresting ring.

-Well, l was homesick.




Hey, Traci,

now's not really a good time.

Tell me about it.

My Putt-Putt for Puppies charity event

is in four hours,

and l just found out Abigail Breslin

and her partner are wearing blue.

Wow! First, global warming,

and now this.

l know! So, fashion flash,

Team Traci is now wearing mauve.




-Purple! Just wear purple!

Traci, l don't think

l'm going to be able to come tonight.

Hannah, you're my partner.

l can't be partner-less

at my own Putt-Putt for Puppies party.

l'll look pathetic.


-Fine, l'll be there.

-All better.

What did she want?

To make sure l was wearing mauve.





l don't even want to go.

l just want to sit and dream about Trey.


Okay, here's the deal.

You wait here, l'll go back home,

send my extremely normal

twin sister back.

-l think you're going to like her.


Right, Lilly?

Yeah, it's true.

All the cute, none of the kooky.

One sec.

There. Now l'm as kooky as you feel.

-l'm Trey.

-l'm Miley.

l'm Lilly.

And l'm leaving.

l'm not actually leaving-leaving.

l just want him to think

l'm leaving-leaving,

so he doesn't think l'm watching,

which l will be,

-but he won't know because...


You were saying?

Listen, l was wondering

if you'd go out with me tonight.



-Tonight's going to be...

-Perfect. For you to go out.

Because l, your best friend,

will be busy at a charity putt-putt golf

tournament filling in for another friend,

a blonde one, who sings...


Too much information.

Thank you.

-So, tonight?


Sorry, your moment.

What she said.

Cool, l'll have a car come pick you up

and you can meet us at the restaurant.

Us? What,

are you bringing your parents?

Actually, yes.

Melon-headed hottie say what?

Ma, you were right. l should've hired

a housekeeper years ago.

This place is cleaner than Uncle Earl

the time he chased that rolling quarter

through the car wash.

Yeah. Lord, yeah, she's just about

cleaned the entire house.

All she has left to do is Jackson's room.


l gotta go, Ma.

l have never seen anything

so disgusting in my whole life.

And l've watched my toothless husband

eat corn on the cob.

Now, l know

the boy's a little messy, but...

Messy? l'd say he lived like a pig,

but that would be an insult to pigs!

l quit!

How about if l double your salary?

l was bitten by a sock.

Let me at least get the door for you.

Hey! You must be

the new cleaning lady.

l'm Jackson.

You must be so very proud.

l don't know

what her problem was, Dad.

There's a place for everything

and everything's in its place.

Then what is a hot dog

doing in your shoe?

lt's a foot-long. Foot. Shoe. Get it?

l'll tell you what l get.

You're going to clean up

this trash heap.

And you can start

by picking up these clothes

and putting them in the closet

where they belong.

No, Dad, l wouldn't do that.


That's it! We're cleaning this room out!

And stop tickling my foot, boy!

l'm way over here.


Lilly, darling, don't l look smashing?

Miley, darling,

what are my other choices?

Okay, look, l'm meeting Trey's parents!

They're like billionaires.

l've got to make sure they like me.

So if that means looking like this

and talking funny, then,

''William, Jeanette, it's divine

to meet you. Kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss.''

Hello, ladies.

Miley, what the Sam heck

are you doing dressed like that?

l'm going on a date.

Wow, if you don't like the guy,

why don't you just tell him?


Works for me.



At least l know the fellow

will keep his hands off of you.


Lilly, l have never felt this way

about a guy before. l really like him.

And if his parents don't like me,

then that could ruin everything.

What am l supposed to do?

Okay, he already likes you

just the way you are.

l'm sure his parents will too.

Maybe you're right.

l mean, Trey is really awesome,

how bad can his parents be?

Hey, l'm Miley Stewart.

Nice to meet y'all.

What an adorable little accent.

Son, you never mentioned

she's a genuine country bumpkin!

l've never met a bumpkin.

Wait till l tell the girls at the club.

You're kidding me, right?

Darling, please, don't just stand there.

Have a seat.

Or should l say, ''Sit a spell''?

-Okay, listen...

-We'll be right back.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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