Hampstead Page #4

---

Excuse me, sir. I have a petition here

against mobile phone masts.

No, okay. Not today.

Are you interested in the problem?

In signing a petition about

mobile phone masts?

No? Because... Hello.

Excuse me. No? Not this time?

(LEAVES RUSTLE)

Wow.

(WHISPERING) Who is this guy?

Er...

Hello?

Hello. Sorry.

Hi, there. This is, er...

This is about a petition.

Okay, thank you.

(INSECTS BUZZING)

Oh.

Hello, Charles.

I was in the neighbourhood and...

I know. I know. It's... It's been a while.

It's always, gosh, when I think about you,

you know,

I just can't help but think about us.

But, then,

isn't it crazy?

I mean, I know...

I know I've said this before...

But even to this day,

I still can't help but think about...

What could have been going on...

Excuse me.

With you and that little whore,

whose pictures you left

in your safety deposit box.

The safety deposit box,

for God's sakes, you idiot!

I'm not gonna let this go,

you sleeping bastard!

Did you ever even think about all the sh*t

that you left for me to shovel up?

Oh, yeah. The bills, the debts,

the whole goddamn mess of it all!

I'm just so mad!

Oh!

(UNEVEN FOOTSTEPS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(MOBILE RINGING)

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Fiona? Yeah.

Mm-hm. Yes, everything is going well.

Listen, actually, you know, I'm...

I'm in the cemetery right now.

Can I call you back later? Thank you.

Hello, there. Hi. Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

I... I'm really sorry.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

Too late for that.

I saw you on the ground.

I thought maybe you were hurt

and I was just kind of...

Actually, I was curious

if you would be interested

in signing a petition here that...

Petition?

Yes. I have a list of names right here.

You think I don't know

what a bloody petition is?

Let me guess.

This petition is something to do with

preventing the existence

of a notorious scourge

on your beloved Hampstead Heath?

Yes, as a matter of fact, it does.

Do you think my mother bore

a complete halfwit?

Is there such a thing as a complete halfwit?

- Do you know who I am?

- Huh?

Why would I sign something

that would hoist me on my own petard?

I'm sorry, I don't know what a petard is,

so I can't really...

Okay, thank you.

Thank you. See?

Guardians of the Heath

against mobile phone masts.

Is this it?

Yes.

It's nothing to do with me?

No, nothing at all, no.

Well...

Well, come on.

These towers are a health hazard.

And I would expect somebody

who actually lives around there...

If people want to stay attached to

their radioactive walkie-talkies,

it's their business.

Do I like what they're doing? No.

Do I like them? Probably not.

Do I respect their right to do as their little,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes