Gun Shy

Synopsis: An undercover DEA agent almost gets killed, and to continue with his mission he needs to attend group therapy.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Romance
Director(s): Eric Blakeney
Production: Hollywood Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
101 min


Excuse me, Ms. Sieveking?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

It's open.

Sorry, I'm late.

I'm not hungry.

You're new here, huh?


Those foreigners

still think I'm sexy.

Put it on the table.

- What's your name?

- Lukas.


If you wanna f*** me, I'll

do it for half price, okay?


You know if Ms.

Meffert's there?

How should I know?

Who are you anyway?

I'm doing social service.

I deliver meals.

I see.


I haven't seen the old

lady for two or three days.

Yeah, well...

I've got a key.

Maybe she's asleep.

Just leave it here.

Ms. Meffert?

Could you get something to

cut her down with, please?


Let her hang there.

She's a goner.

What's in here?

Ms. Meffert's meal.

What's for lunch today?

Mashed potatoes, vegetables

and a beef patty.

Anyway, it seems to

smell strange, I come in,

and the old guy's

sh*t the bed.

I just left the

food there...

Take care!

Yeah, see you.

- Bye!

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Bye, take care.

Have a nice evening.

Same to you.

- Enjoy it.

- Thank you.


Please, shut the

door tightly.

- I will.

- Thank you.




Hey, could you open the door?

Could you open the door?


Excuse me!

Do you live around here?

Could I stay at

your place tonight?

Stay over?

Yeah... sure.

What d'you think?

Which one is yours?

I'm sure it's not

the black one.

I sure wish I'd had one of

those when I got started.

Candles are somehow too hard.

Not even creams will help.

Bananas are no good either.

I peeled 'em and

put condoms on 'em.

But they get so mushy in the

condoms from all the friction.

And that's no good either.

Of course, you can

use a cucumber.

If you leave it lying

around for a few days,

it feels like a real cock.

But then it gets all wrinkly

and isn't very erotic anymore.

My mother used to buy big

pieces of beef tenderloin,

and when she wasn't there,

I'd sneak to the fridge...

and take out a piece,

warm it up, punch a hole in it,

and then I'd stick

my cock in it.

That was really nice.

Can I use your shower?

Sure, but I only

have a bathtub.

What about water?


Sure, I have water.

I'll take a bath then.


- Can I use your towel?

- Yeah, sure.

- Is this okay?

- Yeah, sure.

- You got an ashtray?

- An ashtray?

Yeah... somewhere.





Do you really wanna f*** me?


That's good.

What's that?

I got scalped once.




When I was a kid I went

sledding with my dad.

There was a freight car at

the bottom of the hill...

that everyone rode under.

But not me.

I was chicken,

'cause I was too big.

But my father really wanted

me to do it, so I did.

He always said I

shouldn't be a coward.

The problem was that my head

got caught on a piece of metal,

and they'd to sew on my entire

scalp at the hospital...

...32 stitches.

I don't know if

you've seen this scar.

I was 21/2 and it was the

worst winter of the century,

I wanted to paint

Easter eggs,

and the boiler was broken.

So there was boiling water, and

they had this velour sweater...

It doesn't matter.

In any case, I was...

in the hospital again.


Good morning.


Want some coffee?

I have to get off here.

Can I... can I

see you again?

Can I maybe have

your phone number?

I'll only give

it to you once.




Using someone's hair

to stimulate them...

means you enhance the perception

of the nerves and senses.

He took new shoes and hit me

in the face with the shoes.

Come over here and sit down.

A customer?

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Eric Blakeney

Eric Blakeney (born September 14, 1959) is an American film and television director, producer and screenwriter. He is known for writing award-winning episodes of television for 21 Jump Street, and writing and directing a feature film, 2000's Gun Shy. more…

All Eric Blakeney scripts | Eric Blakeney Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Gun Shy" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 2 Dec. 2021. <>.

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