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(Grunts and groans)
(Eddie's voice) 'Righty-dokey, skip.'
(Eddie) 'Running all the way.'
(Woman) Well, really.
Yes, I know. I'm just giving|you time to wake up
That's right. Exactly|when you booked it. Good morning!
Rather a rough night, actually.
Oh...well, the perils of adultery.
I trust you both washed?
Actually, the water was cold.
That's no reason not to wash.|We are British, you know?
Ah, there you are, Eddie.
Here are some bills. You handle them.|I don't want to get my dabs on them.
Have you cleaned your teeth|this morning?
- Could I have a word?|- Take your hand off me.
I haven't got my hand on you.
I've got security cameras,|so it's on film.
- I've got the evidence.|- I brushed your arm.
- You're a liar, Mr Jones.|- Look, Mr Twat...
It's pronounced "Thwaite".
Well, it's spelled Twat.|T-W-A-T. TWAT!
before you so rudely interrupted...
There. Now, what is all|this silly fuss about?
I'm trying to get some breakfast|and there's no waiter.
Shirt and tie,|wandering around with food.
Hard to spot, I know. Have you been|to a restaurant before?
Yes, but he's not there.
See what I mean?
Chef, you seen Pascal?
(Board creaks and gas hisses)
Chef, I said fix this.
- It's a fire hazard.|- You f***ing bastard!
Look, may we order straightaway?!
Yes, yes, yes!|The waiter will be here directly.
Ahh, morning, Mrs Foxfur.
Eddie! What are you doing?
I'm just...filing the bills.
Oh. Have you seen Pascal?
You'lI have to help|serving breakfast.
Righty-dokey, skip. I'm your man.
(TV) '..still searching|for Gina Carbonara,
'much to the dismay|of her intended husband,
'You English f***ers!'
'..who is currently fighting|extradition back to ltaly
'to face drug smuggling charges.
'Ms Carbonara shot to fame|portraying a prostitute
'The film,|with its controversial sex scenes,
'Her car was discovered|near Beachy Head...'
(Chef) Why you no pay me?!
And why you sack Pascal?!
Yes - visa!
Remember your condition, darling.|Use your breathing technique,
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"Guest House Paradiso" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 7 May 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/guest_house_paradiso_9394>.