Guess Who Page #4

you work at J.P. Oliver?

Yes, sir.

- You like it there? You been there long?

- Well, it's a couple of years, I suppose.

- You moving up?

- There's been some recent movement, yes.

- You a hard worker? You work hard?

- The hardest.

- J.P. Oliver has a huge IPO coming up...

- He doesn't want to hear about this.

But he's asking you about your work.

- I know, but you go into details...

- He likes to be modest. Shut up.

Anyway, they made Simon their IPO...

Wait, what is it? Point man?

And they're flying him

to San Francisco on Monday.

I'm not going to see him for three days.

- So, Simon, what do your parents do?

- Yeah.

- My mother is a realtor.

- Mom, let me help you with that.

And she sells mini-blinds

and teaches dance.

Damn. How many jobs your mama got?

She's a single parent.

She's always been a hard worker.

What happened to your father?

He left when I was two

and I haven't seen much of him since.

- I'm sorry to hear that.

- It happens.

You play any sports?

I played some foosball in college.

- That's the table with the soccer guys...

- I know what foosball is.

- Stupid joke.

- It's not a sport.

Dad, stop badgering him.

I'm not badgering him.

I'm just taking an interest.

I don't understand why you don't

play sports? It don't make sense.

A man who don't play sports

isn't a real man, as far as I'm concerned.

- I used to run a little.

- What? Like track?

I mean, you don't look like a sprinter.

- What'd you run? Did you steeplechase?

- Dad!

Come on, man. What was your race?

- Cars.

- Cars.

- NASCAR.

- NASCAR!

That was the one.

I had some hopes and some dreams and...

it all ended on a hot August day

on a speedway in Charlotte.

It was a crash. Just...

They said I should've been killed.

Actually, I got out without a scratch.

I figured that was a sign.

NASCAR?

Mostly I just worked in the pit.

I mean, I test drove

for one of the drivers some, but...

What was his name?

Jay Gordon.

You drove for Jeff Gordon?

We called him Jay or J.G.

It was like a pet name.

A pit name, actually.

NASCAR?

I believe I said I don't like to talk

about that time in my life.

NASCAR?

What was I supposed to do?

He was staring at me

with those piercing eyes.

- He was not.

- It was like...

filled with piercing disappointment

'cause I don't play sports?

"A man who don't play sports

isn't really a man now, is he?"

I had to give him something! He's big.

He's like... You said he was big,

but he's big-big.

But why did you lie about NASCAR?

My father loves NASCAR.

It's NASCAR, baby. That's, like,

the whitest sport on the planet.

Not anymore, Simon.

There's, like, NASCAR and hockey.

Hockey. I should have went with hockey.

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