Synopsis: In L.A., Maurice and Dave sell steaks - high-end cuts of beef. They've hit a patch of no sales, and they're facing being fired. Maurice needs money to enroll in his final semester of acupuncture school, and the recently-separated Dave needs money for his daughter's birthday gift. Their final client card: a beautiful woman opens the door, and she's attracted to Maurice, but a desperate call from a suicidal friend interrupts her signing the contract. Still hoping to close the sale, Maurice and Dave offer to drive her to the friend's house, and there, troubles multiply. Facing guns, hitmen, and women's secrets, a sale is the farthest thing from their minds. Are they about to be grilled?
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Jason Ensler
Production: New Line Cinema
83 min

Maury, listen,

man, I got a kid.

I gotta write

some business.

It's not my fault.

You're talking after the close, Dave,

- you panicked.

- You quit.

You quit on half a dozen sits where

there's a deal sitting there.

- Bullshit. Who?

- Long list:

Crocker, Sergeant Saigon

with the shrapnel in his head.

The man was

a writeable deal.

Davey, Jesus, what's with you

this morning? You gotta relax.

You should let me

stimulate your third eye point.

It'll energize you.

Put that away, all right?

I'm not your guinea pig.

You need to get your license before

we discuss you sticking pins in me.


Still need a license.

How do I look?

- Good.

- God, I miss her.

Just... just keep

your mind on the day. That's all.


Aw, come on.


Dolly. Dolly,

it's Daddy.



Let's go.

We're late.

I love you.

- Me too.

- "Me too," what?

I love you.

What do you think?

Honk! Do you know

what "honk" means?

Korean couple.

- What?

- She was a nurse. There you gave up.

- It's like you don't give a sh*t.

- I give plenty of sh*t.

I don't get my tuition

paid by Monday,

- I gotta sit out the whole semester.

- Says who?

The acupuncture



It's a school.

What the hell you think

a university is?

To me, it suggests

a big campus,

sororities, high jinks,

trees... that sort of thing.

- Yeah.

- Your university is on Reseda,

in-between the TJ Maxx

and a Costco.

- Yeah, where's your university, huh?

- I don't need one, man.

It's all in here.

I can't take this

sh*t anymore.

- Hey, let it play.

- This isn't working.

Don't take it personally, man,

but I gotta make a living.

You want to

go it alone?

You can't do sh*t without these.

Here, take 'em.

No, I don't need your bullshit leads.

Keep your f***ing leads.

- Keep the book too, I don't need that.

- Fine.

All I need is a credit

app and a contract.

- Beautiful.

- I learned this business door-to-door,

my friend. Cold canvassing.

All I need is my shoes

and my mouth.

Could you pull over?

- Just drop me off right here.

- Good, fine.

What are you doing?

- This is here.

- Here means the corner.

You ever drop off

a human being on Earth?

- Okay, great.

- No, here's fine. Here's fine, okay?

I'm gonna write

some business.

- Where you gonna go?

- It's a big world.

Yeah, don't eat it.

- A**hole. You!

- A**hole!

Hi, I'm Dave Langer

with Valley Food Service.

I don't know if any

of your neighbors told you about us,

but we're in the area,

and what I'm trying to do

is give away 10 free chickens

with the price of

just one of our meat plans.

Sir, the one monthly amount includes

everything. Okay, no chicken for you.

Mr. Simmons, hi.

Maurice Burns,

I'm from Valley Food Service.

Oh, yeah yeah, come on in.

Come on in.

- Where do you live?

- I don't really feel that...

Sherman Oaks, but I don't think that

has anything to do with anything.

Here's what I'm gonna do:

I'm gonna come to your house...

knock knock knock.

You wanna buy some of my crap?

You wanna buy some of my sh*t?

That's okay, sir. I'm sorry for wasting

your time. I apologize.

Have a good day, sir.

Go f*** yourself.

Why don't you cut

your grass?

I'll bet you hate

to shop, Mr. Simmons.

Oh, I sure do.

Well, now you won't

have to.

Oh, Madden. See, that's

the best NFL coach ever,

right there.

He's good in the booth,

but... seven AFC Western Division titles.

That's the man.

What are you

talking about?

Madden, that's...

how do you know him?

That's my mom.


Hi. Can you

recognize my "Hi"?

Is this Maurice?

Yes yes, this is

still Maurice.

So what's my favorite

redhead doing tonight?

I don't know, Maurice.

I've never had red hair.

This is Carol?

This is Carolyn, and all my hairs

are brown, if you remember.

Oh yes, hi. Jeez, yeah.

No, I remember.

Yeah, we went

to the movie, right?

We watched it at your place.

How are you?

Do you really care? Or we could just

hang up the phone right now.

- If that's what you'd like.

- I would, yes.

Then let's do that.

Hi, darling,

how are you?

Dad, did you forget

my birthday?

Of course not.

Did you think I would?

- I didn't know.

- I never would.

You know what I want?

I think I do.

You want to tell me again?

- A swing and a slide.

- A swing and a slide.

Yep. Here's Mommy.

Don't disappoint

her, Dave.

It's not good of her to think

of you as a loser.

She doesn't think that.

She needs you to be solid.

Do you have any solid left?

Renee, I'm doing

my best.

If you can, just get

her something nice.

That would be our top

of the line model.

It's 150 bucks.

Wood really necessary

in a swinging device?

It's superior

for the child.

This particular model

is priced way down.

It's the last one

we have left.

Yeah, this is probably

the last time you'll

be able to get it

at this low price.

You kidding me, man?

- Excuse me?

- Trying to pull that sh*t on me?

- I'm sorry, sir?

- That's your impending event?

- My impending event?

- Your impending event, Glenn.

Make it big, man.

Grab an issue.

Talk about deforestation.

Trees are being

chopped down all over the world.

You're not gonna find

wood of this caliber

on kids'

recreational equipment.



How'd you do?

I got nothing.

Yeah, nothing.

I'm sorry about before.

Nah, forget it.

Water, bridge, under.


Hey hey, look.

Look at that.

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William Tepper

William Tepper (June 27, 1948 – October 4, 2017)[1] was an American actor and screenwriter. He was best known for his lead role in the 1971 movie, Drive, He Said, which also marked Jack Nicholson's debut as a film director. Tepper and Nicholson traveled to the 1971 Cannes Film Festival for the film's debut. Tepper's other film roles included Breathless in 1983 and a co-starring role in the 1984 Tom Hanks film, Bachelor Party, as well as the 1970s television series, Ironside and Kojak.In addition to acting, Tepper co-produced the 1980 dramatic film, Heart Beat, which starred Nick Nolte and Sissy Spacek. Tepper also produced and wrote the screenplay for the 2006 film, Grilled, starring Ray Romano, Kevin James and Sofia Vergara.William Tepper died of a heart attack on October 4, 2017, at the age of 69. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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