Gray Matters Page #3

if this kind of therapy is working for me.

How come every road I take

turns out to be a dead end?

Why couldn't it be a fork?

I like forks.

At least with a fork there's a choice-

right or left or east or west...

- or this way or that way.

- Mm-hmm.

Why do you think you always reach

these dead ends?

Ooh! You see, gutter ball.

That's my life- a bunch of gutter balls.

Well, this is a perfect example...

of why having therapy in different

locations is so important.

Look at the deep symbolism

in that gutter ball.

No, this is good.

This is very, very good.

Can you think of one word

that best describes...

- the way your work situation makes you feel?

- Can I have two?

- No, one.

- Um-

Ohh!

Frustrated.

- You're up.

- Right.

Okay, another word...

for how you really feel

when your brother wins all your races.

- Frustrated.

- Okay.

Another word for how you feel

when you think about going on a date.

- Closed for repairs.

- That's not one word.

I know.

But I can't help it.

It's a weird thing,

but I see myself as this charming hotel...

that's beautifully romantic

and... wonderful on the outside...

but on the inside, it just

needs a ton of renovations.

Hence, closed for repairs.

Nice analogy.

What kinds of renovations?

Getting a promotion at work,

perfecting the tango...

disowning my mother,

getting liposuction under my chin.

There's nothing worse than chin fat.

Uh, I think you need to...

let the idea of sharing your life

with someone other than your brother...

enter your consciousness.

But how can I be conscious of something

that I'm unconscious of?

It's not like I don't date. I've had plenty

of boyfriends. Maybe I'm just in a dry spell.

Let's try something.

How about keeping

the hotel closed...

but keeping the veranda

open for cocktails?

Well, I really like verandas.

I love trellises, and I love arboretums.

Aren't arboretums beautiful?

And houses with the porch out front-

Hold that thought.

'Cause we are out of time today...

but we will resume this conversation

next week at the rock climbing wall.

Nice game.

And what happened to

going to a movie?

How are you going to meet anyone

in a dark movie theater?

How are you going to meet

anyone at a dog park?

Hello? The dog park

is a vortex for singles.

Hello? When did we

become dog owners?

No.

I wash my hand of this whole fiasco.

You're on your own. Ow! Grabbing.

- Check out center field.

- What about cen-Ahh!

Ohh! Yes!

Holy... smokes.

I'll do the preinterview. If she's

great, uh, I'll scream, "Get the ball!"

- And you casually swing over to close.

- "Get the ball. "

- What?

- There's no way she's single.

- Do what I say.

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