Grandma Page #5

CAM:

How do I know it was me?

SAGE:

WHAT?

He picks up a hockey stick, starts messing with a piece ofballed up tape.

CAM:

You heard me.

SAGE:

I didn’t sleep with anyone else.

CAM:

You slept with Mike.

SAGE:

Last year. He used a condom.

ELLE:

Why didn’t you use a condom?

What’d it, slip off?

CAM:

What? What’d she say?

SAGE:

She didn’t say anything

CAM:

Look, she said it wasn’t her time.

ELLE:

Her time? What are you, a moron?

Are you both morons? Don’t theyteach kids sex-ed anymore?

Cam puts down the hockey stick. Points at Elle.

CAM:

Listen Grandma, you better watchyourself.

ELLE:

Look at this loser. You know, some

people shouldn’t grow beardsbecause it makes their face look

like an armpit.

SAGE:

(laughs involuntarily)

Grandma!

CAM:

I’m serious, old lady, don’t fuckwith me!

ELLE:

Then give us the money!

CAM:

I don’t have the money, b*tch!

SAGE:

Let’s go, Grandma -

ELLE:

“B*tch?” Look, you have the money,

you little prick -

CAM:

What the f***? Are you bitchescrazy?

ELLE:

Get the God damn money!

CAM:

Get out of my home! I mean it, youold b*tch! Get out! Or I’ll f***

you up!

ELLE:

You’ll f*** me up?

SAGE:

Let’s go!

CAM:

I will, I’ll f*** you up.

Instead of going to the door, Elle grabs the hockey stick andHITS Cam with it. HARD in the HEAD.

He goes down, CRUMPLING to the ground.

SAGE SCREAMS.

CAM (CONT’D)

(groans)

Uuh -

Elle HITS him again, in the RIBS this time.

CAM (CONT’D)

Oh God, oh God - you hit me

ELLE:

I’ll hit you again, “b*tch!”

SAGE:

No!

ELLE:

How much money do you have?

CAM:

I don’t have

She HITS HIM in the LEG.

CAM (CONT’D)

AAA! GOD! FIFTY DOLLARS! LIKE

FIFTY DOLLARS!

ELLE:

Where?!

CAM:

In my sock drawer!

14 INT. ELLE’S CAR - DAY 14

Elle is sitting in her car, smoothing out and countingcrumpled bills.

It’s mostly ones.

Sage is in the passenger seat.

ELLE:

I like your boyfriend. He’s

special. Really charismatic. I

can see how you’d be attracted tohim.

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