Grand Piano Page #3

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human being so perfectly shaped

for one purpose.

Do what you do.

And try and have some fun.

And remember...

It's just music.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the main entrance doors

are about to be closed.

Ashley! Wayne!

Hey, you guys!

I thought I'd lost you.

I'm sorry, honey. We were at

the bar. It was Happy Hour.

I called you six times.

- Oh my God. Wayne, where is my phone?

- Yeah, it's right here.

- We should get going.

- Yeah, 6 missed calls.

Yeah? Yeah, you think?

Pay more attention. Okay, honey?

We really should get in there.

Emma, calm down.

Just can just slip in.

What a guy doesn't

know doesn't hurt him.

Here are your tickets. I'll meet

you guys right after, okay?

Wait. Are we not sitting with you?

Oh, God... No.

They really need me to sit

in this one particular place.

But I got you really good seats,

they're in the orchestra.

So we're not sitting with you?

But I'm going to meet you right after.

Ashley, I'm so glad you could come.

It's our pleasure. I mean, you're the

closest Wayne gets to a celebrity.

Let's go.

Okay. Enjoy the show.

I'll see you guys after.

Well, that was embarrassing.

Come on, doofus.

I don't know what all the rushing

is about. Don't they have an opening act?

Ladies and gentlemen,

the show will start

in five minutes.

Please, silence your phones.

Mission accomplished.

I knew it! Look, there are

plenty of seats up there.

Hey, boys and girls, come on!

It's five minutes!

Get your weapons ready.

Let's go! Yeah, yeah, come on!

Lynn, sorry!

Can you hear me?

Okay, yeah...

One second...

And... we're in.

Ladies and gentlemen,

introducing tonight's conductor,

Mr. Norman Reisinger.

Sir.

- Your score.

- What?

You left it in the dressing room.

Thanks. You just saved my life.

Anything you need.

Congratulations.

The whole place is packed.

Thought you would

like to hear that.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Sh*t.

Tom Selznick.

A**holes.

I think he's looking at you.

No, I have to go.

What?

No!

Get back on-stage.

Who is this?

I'm Patrick Godureaux.

Got your attention? Good.

Now get back on stage,

your audience is getting antsy.

- You think I don't know what you're up to?

- What am I up to?

- Did Norman put you up to this?

- Norman? I don't follow.

Look, I get it. It's funny.

The stage-fright guy. You send him messages

because you think he's wetting his pants.

- Are you?

- No.

Would you like me to change that?

- Listen to me!

- Are you sure this is a prank?

Let's have a bet. I'll bet it's

not a prank. You bet it is.

If I win, I get to spray Emma Selznick's

brains all over her Gucci purse.

If you win, you get to tell me off.

Come on, this'll be a fun bet.

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