Gone with the Bullets Page #5

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The whole world is watching us.

She's acting presidential.

Joseph or Zhu-Three,

we have to treat them equally.

She's a pro. I respect her.

Ma Zouri! Ma Zouri! Ma Zouri!

No! Oh, no! Ma Zouri!

I thought we were friends!

Peking, Shanghai, Paris.

I've been to all their best restaurants.

On several occasions...

...the restaurant had but one table.

And I was the only guest.

It must be a thing with you men.

Come.

This is the highest building

in Shanghai.

Just opened today.

I took over the restaurant.

Got the best Italian chef.

- Just for you.

- Thanks.

On my 8th birthday, I made a wish.

If one day a man would fight for me,

I'd marry him.

Just 8 years old?

I waited until my 18th birthday.

And then my 28th.

I lost hope.

Will I be waiting at 38?

Finally...

...when I least expected it...

...he appeared.

He's you.

Impossible.

You beat up Joseph for me,

out of jealousy.

Me, jealous of him?

Because you love me.

You and I have been friends

for 30 years.

That long?

- And we've been intimate.

- Exactly.

And you got so jealous,

you beat up Joseph...

...your good friend. That's love.

I beat him up because he's an ass.

He's a copycat.

He copies everything I do.

- If I date a plump girl--

- Excuse me.

Thank you.

Have you ever said, "I love you"?

Baby, I love you.

Speak Chinese.

- Love you. I.

- Who loves?

- Who do you love? Say the whole thing.

- You.

- I lovest thee.

- "Thee"? So formal.

Because I respect you.

I don't want you to respect me,

I want you to love me!

Off-the-shoulder!

- Sweetheart neckline.

- Oh, my!

- Strapless, high waist!

- Look at that!

Mermaid tail.

Look at the leggings!

Looks like pants to me.

How many times do you plan

to be married?

Whenever I see a gown I like...

...I buy it.

I've been collecting for years.

- Pretty, right?

- You're prettier the other way.

- What do you mean? Pig!

- Naked.

Can't get married without a dress.

- Just who will you marry?

- You.

Shuwan Gou! Shuwan Gou!

Shuwan Gou!

- What do you want with her?

- I want her to save me.

Why save you?

My assistant saves only me.

Just ignore him!

You're acting strange today.

Accusing me of being jealous.

Telling me to say "I love you."

Now ordering me to marry you.

That's three giant steps in one day.

- Let's make love.

- We just did.

My mother comes in two days.

We'll marry then. A Western wedding.

Why Western?

I love it when the couple stands there

and says:

- "I do."

- You even know what "I do" means?

I love thee.

Wrong. That's not what it means.

You know how the English say,

"How do you do"?

What does the "do" mean?

It means to force it, to push,

to doo-doo.

When an Englishman wakes up...

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