Goltzius and the Pelican Company Page #3

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enough information in Genesis

to open possibilities,

but far too little information

to expand those possibilities

in any useful descriptive way.

I am snake!

It's up to me to name names.

You name him!

After all, your word is law, Adam-.

In the beginning was the word.

Who are you quoting?

Quoting?

- Why, God of course.

- What about me in all this?

Susannah was the unbalanced mainstay,

in more ways than one.

Let me name names.

What should I call this?

Apple.

Good. Take the apple.

It can become a symbol of the tree

and therefore of knowledge.

Use it to obtain some wisdom.

How do I do that?

Well, Adam could try biting it, Eva.

An apple a day

keeps the doctor away.

That's also a quotation.

Not necessarily from God, though.

- Bite'?

- Yes. Go on.

Bite.

B.I.T.E.

Yah.

The depiction

of this important moment

is always a little contentious, huh?

Van Eyck painted

a good version of this.

It is a question of expectation -

the entry of sin into the world.

And since in the end

we need to sin in this way,

else you and I would not be here,

what on earth is God playing at,

banning that

which is absolutely necessary?

Makes absolutely no sense, huh?

Durer made a fine print, yeah.

Though a little heroic.

And he avoids passing

any sort of judgment.

His Adam and Eva are,

in the end, very impassive.

Now, this model became

a sort of formula.

There is a version

by Cornelis Cornelis van Haarlem.

Ideal man.

Ideal woman.

Man a brown triangle.

Woman a white oval.

It was an invention,

a concept that stuck.

Mouth. Breast. Kiss.

Slow down. You have time.

All eternity, in fact.

Now, there is a thing

that wants a name.

What shall we name

what Adam possesses

and Eva does not?

Cock.

Oh, I have it -

"penis".

And how about a word

for her hungry mouth?

I can offer you this.

Vagina.

Penis. Vagina.

The primary apparatus.

Doing it like that is going to be frowned

upon.

It will be described as doing it

like a dog.

Could you imagine history recording

that the first love of Adam and Eva

accompanied by "ar ar ar ar", barking?

Dog, a four-legged animal

that runs in a pack.

And, if in any doubt,

remember that "dog"

is only "God" backwards.

And it may be true that only man

in the whole animal kingdom

makes love from the front.

Man, you may say indeed,

is the odd man out, so to speak.

So try a reversal.

Believe me,

reversals can be entertaining.

Watch her face. See her eyes.

Feel her stiffened nipples

against your chest.

Hold her body by the hips Adam,

by the pelvis,

by the pelvic bones that will

shelter your eventual little baby.

And now they have all the words,

all 26 to make the very globe itself.

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