Synopsis: A recently divorced man tries to find the one aspect of his marriage that still matters to him: his missing cat, Goliath.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): David Zellner
Production: IFC Films
  1 nomination.
80 min

[projector clicking]


# Farewell, old comforts #

# So long, restful days #

# I'll carry nothing,

for nothing can I pay #

# I will try not to but I'll still

forget your name #

# And I'll find another face

along the road #

# And gone #

# When I'm gone #

# I'd like for all my friends #

# to raise up

their heads in song #

# So...

When I go #

# My friends can nod

their heads and say #

# "We're glad she's moved on" #

[birds chirping]

[faint thwapping]

[muttering angrily]

[phone beeps and dials]

[phone ringing]

(Woman on recording)

Hi, this is Abby.

I'm not here right now,

so leave a message and I'll get

back to you as soon I can.



Hey, it's me.

I don't know if you're not

answering because, uh,

you're still at the funeral or because

you still don't wanna talk...

But, um, either way, I think you're, uh,

being pretty out of Iine

and totally unfair with all this.

You know, it's you that's making

this, this so uncomfortable -

not me...all right?

And, you know, I, I had,

I had just as much right

to be there as you.

And so what if she's your aunt?

You know, she's,

she's my aunt, too.

Just, uh... Just a, uh,

ex-aunt-in-Iaw or whatever,

but so what?

You know, it was enough

to justify me being there.

And you didn't need to give me sh*t

because I brought carnations, O.K.?

I didn't get them

because I was cheap.

I, I got them... I got them

because I actually thought

they were nice and,

and I didn't know

any better, all right?

Besides, if she had it her way,

she probably wouldn't want any

f***ing flowers to begin with

considering how bad

her allergies are...

Or were, whatever.

And you know what?

You're one to talk, you know,

about tact.

The most tacky thing there was,

was you bringing your,

your cheesy-ass, uh, boy toy

on a hot date

to a f***ing funeral, O.K.?.

That's pretty f***ing tacky

if you ask me.

Which new guy is he?

Is he the-- is he the one, uh,

with all the played-out tattoos?

The, um, the tribal arm band

and the, uh,

the Chinese symbol

for power and, uh,

Celtic and Egyptian sh*t that he--

If you are satisfied with your message,

please press 1.

If you would like to re-record

your message, please press 2.

If you would like to

play back your message,

please press 3.

To repeat these options,

press 4.

Please record message now.

Hey, it's me.

Give me a call back, please.



[engine shuts off]

[car door opens, shuts]

[snapping sound]

Damn it.

[key clatters]



[water running]

[water stops]

[microwave humming]

[keyboard clicking]

[man yells in

foreign language]



[drumming continues]

[chanting, drumming continues]


Here, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty.

[clicking tongue]

Come get it.

Come get it.

Kitty, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty.

[drumming continues]

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[man meowing]

[can opener cranking]

[crickets chirping]

Here, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[bird chirping]

[faint whirring]

[phone ringing]



You guys wanted to see me?

Yeah, take a seat,

if you would.

Uh, we've got slight change

that we need to make.

Um, O. K.

We are going to need you

to Iet AIvin go.


Oh, you mean to, to fire him?

We're gonna need you

to Iet him go for us.

O.K., um...

What, uh, what, what for?

What happened?

Uh, just, just tell him that,

um, it wasn't working out,

that it wasn't, uh, it wasn't

a perfect match, um,

that the, uh, that,

the synergy was not...correct.

When do you want me to,

to tell him?

Right now would,

would be ideal.

And also, um,

you could then fill in, uh,

takin' over some

of his duties on the floor...

Would be great.

Well...that's not,

that's not what I do.

I, I mean, I'm...

I'm above that.

I mean, I, I don't--

I did that

a Iong time ago and, um...

Well, that's, that's just

not my scene.

Um, I mean, those guys...

Those guys, they're always

farting on each other and, and,

and Iighting each others' farts

and endless, you know, and...

And calling each other

"b*tch tits" and--

Sure, sure.

It means a Iot to us,

your willingness to,

to help us out.

I mean, this is a tough thing,

you know.

Anytime a void is created, um,

it's tough on everyone...

Tough on us.

But is it, is it,

uh, temporary?

It's temporary for now.

It would be really terrific if you

could take care of that for us.

[stall door squeaks]


[urinal flushing]

[zipping sound]

Hi, AIvin.

How's it goin'?

Um... Uh, Terry and Curtis,

uh, asked that I come,

uh, talk to you.

Um, I'm afraid that we

have to Iet you go.

You mean, Iike fired?


No, Iike, uh...

Just, you know,

just Ietting you go.

Did they say why?

Um, mmm, just that it

wasn't working out.

Um... Look, I...

You know, I, I don't know why.

They didn't say why.

Um, I was pulling for you.

I'm just a puppet and, um,

you know, they told me

what to say and I'm just, you know,

regurgitating it to you.

And I'm, you know, I'm, I'm,

you know, right there with you on this.

I, I'm just...

You know,

just doin' what they say.


Um, do, do you think

they'd Iet me

finish takin' a sh*t first?

Yes, totally.

All right.

You know, I don't

want to rush you or anything.

You know, you can take...

as much time as you need.


Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[mechanical humming

and beeping]

[computer mouse clicks]

[keyboard clicking]

[clicking continues...]

[printer whirring]

[siren wailing]

[insects buzzing,

staple gun clicking]

[children chattering]

Excuse me, uh...

Have you seen that cat?

Is this one yours?

Yeah, I'm afraid it is.

Why'd you call it Goliath?

Uh, it just seemed

Iike a cool name.

I don't know.

I got him

a Iong time ago.

Did he run away from you?

No, I doubt it, at Ieast,

um, at Ieast not intentionally.

He wouldn't do that.

I'm sure he's

just confused and, you know,

wandered away.

Uh, he's very happy.

He's really old.

If it's fancy, you think

maybe someone stole it?

Probably not.

He's you know,

he's a total sweetheart,

but he's, he's not

a show cat or a purebred

or anything Iike that, just...

I don't know.

This neighborhood

used to be good.

I've Iived here about nine years.

Just Iast month I got my house

appraised and it went down 5%

because there's a sex offender

in the neighborhood now.

Man, I can't believe it.

Are you serious?


Well...Where does he Iive?

A couple of blocks that way,

I think, in Sweetbriar.

I Iooked it up online

in the sex offender database.

It's weird.

I never thought, uh...

You know, anyone Iike that Iived in,

Iived in our area, you know?

It's terrible, is what it is.

It's just terrible.

Yeah, it's,

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

David Zellner

David Zellner is an American film director, screenwriter and actor. He lives and works in Austin, Texas. Zellner is best known for directing the films Kid-Thing (2012) and Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter (2014). more…

All David Zellner scripts | David Zellner Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Goliath" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/goliath_9143>.

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