Go Away Mr. Tumor

Year:
2015
39 Views


My name is Xiong Dun.

Xiong, like a bear.

Dun, like Newton.

Tomorrow,

I'll be turning 29.

Alexander Bell

invented the telephone when he was 29.

Murakami

started writing novels when he was 29.

Spielberg

directed "Jaws" when he was 29.

and at 29, Steve Jobs introduced the Macintosh.

I believe,

the next 29-year-old to influence the world,

has to be me!

If

the butterfly effect does exist.

Then I think,

I must be the butterfly,

that could flap its wings,

and change the world.

Hey you!

Do you have a death wish?

Hurry up!

Fine,

you got me.

In this city,

I'm no butterfly.

Maybe a moth at best.

Perhaps,

for most girls,

success means having the perfect wedding.

But,

that's not me.

We gather here today,

to join together this man

and this woman, in holy matrimony.

If anyone

has any objections,

please speak now, or forever hold your peace.

Sorry.

If no one objects,

Okay.

Excuse me. I had to work late last night.

Mr. Jiang.

I didn't miss anything,right?

I already said you didn't have to come.

This is way too important to miss.

Through good times and bad,

in sickness or health...

To be honest,

if it wasn't for leaving a good impression

on the boyfriend's parents,

I'd be home sleeping, right about now.

Look over here.

Smile. OK.

Cousin and cousin-in-law,

I'm Xiong Dun.

You are Chuan's girlfriend right?

That's me!

You are really pretty!

You got a loose thread

Sorry.

I pulled too hard.

It's a loose thread.

It really is a loose thread.

If you are tired,

you can go home and sleep.

No one would mind.

No, I'm okay.

Why would I be tired?

I'm doing this for you.

Right?

That poop-haired lady,

is that the groom's mom?

That's my mom.

I'm sorry.

I should go say hello.

That's okay.

More eating.

Less talking.

Here, this is for you.

It will guarantee

a happy marriage in the near future.

There are two types of bosses in the world,

There are only two kinds of men in this world,

dumb ones and dumber ones.

cowards and cheaters.

Which one would you choose?

And a Virgo on top of all that,

now that's one of a kind.

That's what my boss is like.

Right on her chin,

there's a huge mole.

She spends all day covering it up,

again and again, and again.

The harder she tries, the more obvious it is.

Stop trying to hide it.

I mean what's the point?

Where are my applause?

I just love champagne.

Damn it.

She is so freaking heavy!

Lao Zheng

is a woman.

She's a small business owner,

and amateur boxing enthusiast.

Her punches are

steady, accurate, and fierce.

And as a person, not one bit less.

Your typical Beijing chic.

When she's around girls,

she's manly.

And when she's around guys...

even manlier.

She loves plaid shirts,

dislikes pretty dresses.

Wherever she goes,

a trail of screams follow.

Let me go.

I can walk by myself.

Stop messing around.

Emmy.

My BFF and roommate.

Born smack in the middle of

the Yantze river delta area.

She likes astrology...

loves Tarot cards!

Likes Koreans dramas...

loves American shows!

She loves selfies...

but no peace signs, please.

Loves working...

hates overtime.

Even though she always has to...

You got it now?

She is an actuary working for

a Japanese company,

with an insanely unreasonable boss.

That's why she's always exhausted.

Push! Just a little more! Push!

Well, okay.

I made up that last part.

But it really, really is that bad.

Holy crap!

Damn that's exhausting.

You always mess with me

at the most important parts.

Play.

That's my man!

Move.

I'm here to protect you.

Step back.

Me and my love are going zombie killing!

Demons,

back away!

Emmy,

I'm really sorry.

Gotta go.

Lao Zheng.

There are people inside.

Let's hide for a while.

I would rather be killed.

It's not safe outside.

Oh my god.

When did you come in?

Xiao Xia asked you if

you remember what day today is?

Deadline date!

How many did I tell you to finish last time?

Procrastination!

There's something wrong with you right?

Nothing's wrong with me.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

What are you saying?

Are you out of your mind?

That wasn't a question.

Last time you said to finish five,

so I put in more hours and finished it.

It's all done.

More hours? Doing what, goofing around?

Last time I said seven!

You said five!

I'm sure of it.

If you'd said seven,

there's no way I would finish that,

so I wouldn't have agreed in the first place.

Are you saying that it was my mistake?

Are you?

Sounds to me like you

don't want your job anymore,

If that's the case, you can get out.

There are a lot of people waiting for your spot.

What, you think I wanna be...

here

right?

Okay,

let's continue.

Xia,

say something.

Honey!

Guess you're still in that meeting.

Message me back when you're done okay?

Miss you.

This is good.

Waitress. Clean it up.

What are you doing?

There are a lot of people here.

You're so bad.

Quiet for a second,

she just called me.

I didn't even answer.

Let me call her back.

What are you doing, sweetheart?

Answer the phone.

What are you doing, sweetheart?

Xiong Dun!

Xiong Dun!

Xiong Dun!

Xiong Dun!

Xiong,

Happy birthday!

As expected,

I gotta work overtime.

Sorry I can't come.

We'll celebrate another day.

Xiong,

Stupid manager is dragging

everyone to dinner,

you're lucky you got away,

Gotta go.

We'll talk tomorrow

Xiong, I've got a game tomorrow,

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Yuan Yuan

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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