Gendarme et les extra-terrestres, Le (The Gendarme and the Creatures from Outer Space)


Put the luggage in the trunk.

Sorry, darling.

You should come for a couple of days.

Perros-Guirec is not far.

Gisle really wants to get to know you.

I'll try, darling.

Beware of the radars.

There's one here.

There's one here too,

and this one's really...


Victor 6500, 650 here, do you read?

- 6500 here, I hear you.

Get a roadblock organised

on the 559...

...and stop the Oldsmobile

with licence plate 1919 RB 83.

Understood. Over.

I'm listening.

- Victor 6500, Toulon brigade?

Find a big banner

and hang it across the road.

And write in big,

clear letters...

Hello, madam.

Would you mind stepping out?

Ludovic, that's real love.

You're already here.

Come on, get out. Into the car, quickly.

Hurry. Come on, get in.

I think I'll go to the beach.


- What happened?

We just arrived.

- Before that, I mean.

Before that we weren't here.

Come on.

We'll talk about it later,

Cruchot, Beaupied, on the road.

Go past the forest and drive towards

Pampelonne and Gassin...

...and then to Paillas

and Les Sellettes.

We're alone now,

so call me lieutenant.

Yes, captain.

How pretty you are, commander!

How beautiful you seem to me!

In truth, if your song

is like your plumage,

You are the phoenix of the

hosts of this wood.

Yes, colonel. General...

What is it?

- No idea.

Go have a look then.

I don't get it. Everything's fine.

Go away.

Go away.

Go away.

Go away, I said.

Go away.

Get lost.


A saucer... a flying saucer.

I saw it.

It was there and then it went...

It flew off. It was this big.

I saw it, really.

- Yes, me too.

It was a flying saucer, chief.

It was this big.

I really saw it.

I saw it.

It was on the ground.

- How many were inside?

I don't know.

- How long was it.

Very long. It was this long.

- And the colour.

Metallic grey.

Did you see that?

He's giving press conferences now.

He's making big fools out of us.

Put an end to it.

Right away.

It was really this big.

I'm warning you. Stop pulling

my leg. What was the saucer like?


- Trapezoidial.

Yes, trapezoidial,

with square windows.

Before, you said they were round.

- Yes, squarish round.

First it was spherical,

then oval and now tropezoidial.


- Shut up and type, Taupin.

Sergeant, your car is ready.

I have to go. I want a report.

He didn't see a thing.

He's a pyromaniac.

Come on, try.

It looked like a top.

A top like my grandfather gave me

once for Christmas.

I'll never forget it. With his

white beard and his red robe.

He walked 6 kilometres to

give it to me, my gramps...


- Yes, sergeant...

How old are you?

- Tuesday, sergeant.

No, I'm asking how old you are.


- Are you making fun of me or what?

How old are you? Answer, answer.

One, two, three...

- Three? You look twice as old.

How pretty you are, sergeant!

How beautiful you seem to me!

In truth, if your milk can

is like your cheese,

What? Milk can?

You're really making fun of me.

Did you have leave coming up?

That's been cancelled then.

What's happening? What's wrong?

Go and have a look.

The spark plugs are in place,

so is the connecting rod, and the pistons.

Everything's normal.

Let me.

Go away.

Go away.

Go take a leak.

Go take a leak.


It's working again.

I fixed that well.

A flying saucer.

This big...

What? Where?

- Didn't you see it?

You didn't see it?

Come along then.

There. There it was. I swear.

But I don't see anything.

Listen, there's nothing here.

- Yes, because suddenly...

Maybe, but there's nothing here now.

Can I be relieved?

- What's wrong?

Doesn't it drive you nuts,

al that commercial chatter?

Relax. Catch your breath

in my office.

I saw it.

You have to believe me.

Yes, we saw it,

as we'll see now.

What did you see?

An unidentified Dubonnet in the shape

of a Tefal pan...

...with luminous Aspro windows

and it went Bic, bic...

Stop it, Cruchot,

now you're really losing it.

No, I changed two boxes of washing

powder for one box of Ariel...

...and I was in the Yoplait.

You're losing it and you're

doing clandestine advertising to boot.

Me, Fixudant? Not for one Omo did it look

Ricard to me. Not for one Omo.

I know, mayor,

but listen.

And those statements to the press.

Have you gone mad?

You're exaggerating. Who says

they saw a Cinzano?

It may not be very Astra,

but visibility was poor.

You couldnt distinguish a Seb toaster

from a Dior panty.

Commercials are really

becoming a plague.

Make an OBAO bath and rub

yourself with Patenotre peppers.

Why are you here? What do you want?

- Peace.

We have no bad intentions

with your planet.

Don't be in our way and

we'll remain friends.

We have come to study the customs

and behaviour of the earthlings... mingling with the people.

You have a lively imagination.

Our research area is Saint-Tropez

during the holiday months.

Enough of that. Get lost or I'll show

you what my research area is.

I see you don't believe me.

- Out, quickly.

Where is he? Where is he?

Your appearance and voice

pose no problem to us.

We copy them like that.

And we can do more. Much more.

Don't force us to create chaos.

Let's remain friends, brother.

Chief, I've got one.

Where is he? Where is he?

Chief, chief...

There they are, there they are.


- The aliens.

I saw one. They change

appearance like that.

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Jacques Vilfrid

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Gendarme et les extra-terrestres, Le (The Gendarme and the Creatures from Outer Space)" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 May 2024. <,_le_(the_gendarme_and_the_creatures_from_outer_space)_8837>.

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