Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties



[rousing orchestral

fanfare playing]

[fanfare ends]

[birds squawking]

[wind blowing]

[grand, royal orchestral

theme playing]


Once upon a time,

in an English castle

far, far away,

there lived a pampered

personage by the name of...



[bell ringing]

All right,

everyone, he's awake.

Hurry! Hurry!

Come along, quickly.

Right, are we all ready?

Get the Carlyle log.


Prince knew no other life

than a life of luxury.

Oh, did I mention

that Prince was a cat?

Good morning, Prince.

[yawning, groaning]

Your tea.

[British accent]:

Mm-hmm-hmm! Breakie.

I have your favorite dish.

Carlyle log.

Ah, lovely.

[slurping, smacking]




Oh, it's good to be the king.


On the other side of the world,

there lived

an equally pampered cat

who thought he was a king,

but who ruled over

a somewhat smaller domain.



I'm the king of the cul-de-sac.

That's what I'm talking about.

Jon and I have everything

I could ever want.

Food in the fridge.

Cable and satellite.

And don't forget lasagna.

That's right.

It's good to be king.

I want you to know, you're the

most important thing in my life.

Let me sleep, please.

Before I met you,

my life had no meaning.

I was incomplete.

Oh, you still are, really.

I guess what I'm

trying to say is...

...will you marry me?

Eh? Marriage?

Well, this is kind of sudden.

There may be

some legal issues here.

Look, I like you,

but not as a spouse.

Maybe as a servant, we could

stay together, make it work.

So what do you say... Liz?

-Wait a second. Liz? Liz?


Liz is a girl.

No, worse.

She's a girl vet.

-[bell dings]

-Turkey's ready.

Well, I think

Jon has touched bottom now.

Hmm, we gotta put an end

to this torture.

[romantic music playing]

Time for a new DJ.

[stereo blasts]


Somebody take my temperature.




[music stops]

Man, you have changed.

I can't have you messing

this up for me, okay?

-Oh, I get it. It's her.

-Come here.

She doesn't like our music.

Whatever happened to Jon?

-My metal-head guy. My dude.

-[doorbell chimes]

You were so much cooler

when you wore a mullet.

Now stay here.

-So much cooler.

-[doorbell chimes]

I suppose she likes

this haircut.

I suppose she likes

this haircut.


-Tell me she likes it the way it is now.

-Hey, Liz.

-Jon, I have incredible news.

Guess who's going to be

speaking at this year's fund-raiser

for the Royal Animal


Siegfried and Roy?

-Oh, come on.

-Just Siegfried?

Jane Goodall dropped out

at the last minute

because she's nursing

a sick chimp

and they asked me.

I mean, it's gonna be at

this really cool castle

on a huge estate.

Well, Liz, that-that's...

I am flying to London

tomorrow morning.

-Can you believe it?


I mean, I have

to pack, and...

Oh, are these rose

petals and candles?

Yeah, well, Liz,

I have some...

some important news

of-of-of my own.



Hey, me, too.

[clears throat]

Excuse me, do you believe

in love at first sight?

I was hoping you'd say yes.

You have made me

so very, very cat-happy.


-Well, come on.

-What's the news?

-The news is, I, uh...

I finally house-trained Odie.



That would explain

the rose petals.

I have to pack.

I'm so sorry

about dinner.

But you know what?

I will send your

regards to the queen.

Okay, congratulations

on Odie.

Oh, oh, yeah.

And, hey, you, too.

They're lucky to have you.



Oh, I thought she'd never leave.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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