Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties



[rousing orchestral

fanfare playing]

[fanfare ends]

[birds squawking]

[wind blowing]

[grand, royal orchestral

theme playing]


Once upon a time,

in an English castle

far, far away,

there lived a pampered

personage by the name of...



[bell ringing]

All right,

everyone, he's awake.

Hurry! Hurry!

Come along, quickly.

Right, are we all ready?

Get the Carlyle log.


Prince knew no other life

than a life of luxury.

Oh, did I mention

that Prince was a cat?

Good morning, Prince.

[yawning, groaning]

Your tea.

[British accent]:

Mm-hmm-hmm! Breakie.

I have your favorite dish.

Carlyle log.

Ah, lovely.

[slurping, smacking]




Oh, it's good to be the king.


On the other side of the world,

there lived

an equally pampered cat

who thought he was a king,

but who ruled over

a somewhat smaller domain.



I'm the king of the cul-de-sac.

That's what I'm talking about.

Jon and I have everything

I could ever want.

Food in the fridge.

Cable and satellite.

And don't forget lasagna.

That's right.

It's good to be king.

I want you to know, you're the

most important thing in my life.

Let me sleep, please.

Before I met you,

my life had no meaning.

I was incomplete.

Oh, you still are, really.

I guess what I'm

trying to say is...

...will you marry me?

Eh? Marriage?

Well, this is kind of sudden.

There may be

some legal issues here.

Look, I like you,

but not as a spouse.

Maybe as a servant, we could

stay together, make it work.

So what do you say... Liz?

-Wait a second. Liz? Liz?


Liz is a girl.

No, worse.

She's a girl vet.

-[bell dings]

-Turkey's ready.

Well, I think

Jon has touched bottom now.

Hmm, we gotta put an end

to this torture.

[romantic music playing]

Time for a new DJ.

[stereo blasts]


Somebody take my temperature.




[music stops]

Man, you have changed.

I can't have you messing

this up for me, okay?

-Oh, I get it. It's her.

-Come here.

She doesn't like our music.

Whatever happened to Jon?

-My metal-head guy. My dude.

-[doorbell chimes]

You were so much cooler

when you wore a mullet.

Now stay here.

-So much cooler.

-[doorbell chimes]

I suppose she likes

this haircut.

I suppose she likes

this haircut.


-Tell me she likes it the way it is now.

-Hey, Liz.

-Jon, I have incredible news.

Guess who's going to be

speaking at this year's fund-raiser

for the Royal Animal


Siegfried and Roy?

-Oh, come on.

-Just Siegfried?

Jane Goodall dropped out

at the last minute

because she's nursing

a sick chimp

and they asked me.

I mean, it's gonna be at

this really cool castle

on a huge estate.

Well, Liz, that-that's...

I am flying to London

tomorrow morning.

-Can you believe it?


I mean, I have

to pack, and...

Oh, are these rose

petals and candles?

Yeah, well, Liz,

I have some...

some important news

of-of-of my own.



Hey, me, too.

[clears throat]

Excuse me, do you believe

in love at first sight?

I was hoping you'd say yes.

You have made me

so very, very cat-happy.


-Well, come on.

-What's the news?

-The news is, I, uh...

I finally house-trained Odie.



That would explain

the rose petals.

I have to pack.

I'm so sorry

about dinner.

But you know what?

I will send your

regards to the queen.

Okay, congratulations

on Odie.

Oh, oh, yeah.

And, hey, you, too.

They're lucky to have you.



Oh, I thought she'd never leave.

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Joel Cohen

Joel Cohen is the name of: Joel Cohen (musician) (born 1942), American musician specializing in early music repertoires Joel Cohen (writer), American screenwriter Joel H. Cohen, Canadian TV writer for The Simpsons Joel Ephraim Cohen (born 1944), American mathematical biologist Joel Coen (born 1954), of the Coen brothers Joel-Cohen incision, a popular technique for performing caesarean section more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 20 Jan. 2021. <>.

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