Garden State Page #4

Sh*t! I got to go

to my meeting.

Okay.

I love you.

- I love you too.

- I love you.

- Large, it was nice to see you.

- Nice to see you too.

Oh. Oh, you guys,

don't stay in here all day...

'cause I took the batteries out of

the carbon monoxide detector.

It was beeping all night.

She drives me crazy!

She gets all baked out and makes me

feel like I have to impress her.

And you know what?

I'm okay with being unimpressive.

I sleep better.

- Hey, what time is it?

- No idea.

I gotta go.

Hi, I'm Andrew Largeman.

I'm sorry.

- I'm really late for my appointment.

- Andrew. Andrew.

Okay, Andrew. I'm gonna need you

to fill out this paperwork for me.

As soon as we're ready,

we'll call you in.

- Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry.

- It's okay. Have a seat.

- Hello, Miss Lubin.

- Oh, hello there.

Just have a seat.

We'll be with you soon, okay?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

How's it going?

Get off.

Get off.

Heel.

Heel!

Got any suggestions?

Oh, what?

- You got any suggestions?

- Yeah, kick his balls.

Kick his balls.

Yeah, but I don't wanna destroy

future generations of charitable dogs.

Don't worry about it.

I got three Dobermans.

If I didn't kick them in the balls regularly,

I'd never get anything done.

But he's gotta be close

to finishing by now.

Not yet.

Here comes the lipstick.

Mrs. Lubin?

We're ready for you now.

Okay. Come on, Arthur.

I feel so used.

Thanks for your help.

For, at least, your good intentions.

- I recognize you.

- Oh, did you go to Columbia High?

No, not from high school.

From TV.

- Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?

- Yeah.

Are you

really retarded?

No, I'm not.

Cool.

Great job, man. I mean,

I thought you were really retarded.

You're just as good as that Corky kid,

and he's actually retarded.

If there was some

sort of retarded Oscar...

you would win like

hands down, kick his ass.

Well, thank you.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

I have to fill out

this form though, so...

- Right on.

- Thanks.

My cousin's an actor.

Jake Ryan Winters.

Doubt you've ever

heard of him.

He was, like, on Xena once as a gnome

or something. That's really cool though.

Thanks.

Oh, my God.

That scene.

That last scene...

where you give the speech

to the whole stadium...

and your dad... oh, your dad

gives you the thumbs up.

Aw. That was, like...

That was emotional.

So, you got

anything else coming out?

No. You know,

I'm auditioning...

I can't believe

you're not really retarded.

I mean, Jake's not

a very good actor.

You can't really tell on Xena

'cause he's in the hairy gnome suit...

but when we were little, he used to

put on these really, really low-budge...

renditions of Andrew Lloyd Webber

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