Fun with Dick and Jane Page #5

for a couple months.

In a couple of months,

we'll be declaring bankruptcy.

- Oh, come on.

- Our savings--

Look. Our savings

was in Globodyne stock.

Jesus. And, look, our pension

was in Globodyne stock.

Everything was in Globodyne stock!

All of it!

The lawn is covered with dirt!

It is so much fun!

I have made a mud man!

Now, Billy is looking

at the glass half full.

Hon, relax. We've got 600 grand.

- Where?

- We're standing in it. Our house.

Since Globodyne, the local

property market crashed, Dick.

If we sold our house today,

we would owe the bank 1 50 grand.

I knew it. It was churning in my gut...

- ... and I didn't listen.

- It would be okay.

You said we could afford this house

and take out a second mortgage...

...so that we could put in the pool,

redo the kitchen...

- I said that.

- ... and now we are on the verge...

...of losing the house.

If we lose the house...

...then Billy loses all sense of security

and later, never have a relationship...

...so he'll just spend his whole life

just alone.

There he'll be, just alone,

nobody with him, just like a bum.

Hon? Hon? You need a paper bag?

You said everything

was gonna be okay.

Mr. Dick! Something wrong

with the electricity!

Well, if you're gonna do it,

be the best.

Hi, I'm Lucy, and I'll be your Kostmart

training team leader.

I am so happy to welcome you

to the Kostmart team.

Now, we work hard here,

but we play hard also.

I think we're

gonna have a good time here...

...because at Kostmart,

we're more than a store. We're family.

Now, before we get started...

...I am gonna need you all

to piss in one of these cups.

- It's taking a little while.

- Just relax.

I've been married for 20 years.

I know what it looks like.

You want me to get you a cola?

It's just hard to do

while you're standing there watching.

I could sell you my pee for $1 00.

I been off the pipe for two years.

Thank you, Jesus.

Unfortunately, we don't have any

positions available in Pilates or yoga.

But we are looking

for a Jeet Kun Do instructor.

Yes. I mean, that's-- Oh, my--

I thought--

I didn't even-- I didn't say that?

I was born doing...

...that.

- Hi, welcome to Kostmart.

- Watch.

Hi! Welcome to Kostmart.

Check out our makeup counter

on aisle 1 2B.

Welcome to Kostmart. Check out our

CDs. Garth Brooks on sale, aisle 51.

Welcome to Kostmart.

Your local gun emporium.

Aisle 42, hunting gear.

And the next thing I knew,

I was wearing it.

- Well, Jane.

- Hey, Veronica.

- Hi, how are you?

- Good, good.

I didn't know

you worked out here.

Welcome to Kostmart. I hope

you'll take a trip by the deli today...

...for a complimentary cube

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