Fun with Dick and Jane

- Morning, Mr. Harper.

- Morning, Jeff.

- Hi, Ralph.

- Morning, sir.

- Dick.

- Charlie.

I've been waiting for you.

- How've you been?

- Sit down.

- Pour yourself a drink.

- Thanks, Charlie.

This business stinks, you know that?

- Well...

- It stinks!

It used to be the most exciting business

in the world. Now it stinks on ice.

- It's been a rough year.

- It stinks.

- I guess it does stink.

- It stinks on ice!

All right, on ice.

It was a great feeling to be part of the

team that tied the lace on the shoe...

...that took that giant step

for mankind.

You don't get that feeling

from building a goddamn missile.

- Now, what's all this crap?

- My plan to reorganize my department.

One small step.

One giant step for mankind.

I wouldn't say that,

but it's not a bad plan.

You know who made that step possible?

We did.

You and me.

And Bob Kane, Frank Chapman.

We put Neil and what's his name

on the bloody moon.

And then they gave us the shaft.

It stinks.

On ice.

What do you say we talk turkey?

Right, Charlie.

I was thinking more in terms

of cutting costs than personnel.

Gobble, gobble, gobble.

I was just talking turkey.

Dick...

...I always thought you were the kind

of guy I didn't have to bullshit.

I'm glad to hear that.

- Can I level with you?

- Sure.

- I mean, really level?

- Charlie, you can tell me anything.

You're fired.

I must have fired 50 people today,

but that's the first time I did it like that.

The first time I ever said, just like,

"You're fired."

Practice makes perfect.

No.

I shouldn't have done that.

- It's just that I'm sick of all the bullshit.

- Wait a minute.

- You're serious?

- Would I kid a pal?

No jokes, Charlie.

You're really firing me?

I don't have to tell you

what a lousy year we've had.

I haven't done a bad job.

You've done a hell of a job.

And don't let anybody tell you different.

Then why me?

My division's outperformed everybody's.

Seniority.

I think that's what it was.

I'm sure that's what it was.

Seniority. Yeah.

Do you mean to tell me that

when you compare the productivity...?

Dick!

Do you mind if we don't go

into all that crap right now?

Frankly, I'm a little bit looped.

And I got blood on my hands.

A lot of blood.

Mr. Harper?

I'll have to get back to you.

I just want to say,

I'm very sorry you're leaving us.

Well, thank you.

Did Mr. Blanchard tell you

about the car?

- What car?

- The company car you've been using.

You may retain the use of it

for two weeks.

Isn't that thoughtful?

But we must have your company

credit cards now, please.

Goodbye, Mr. Harper.

Jane!

Hey, what is this?

This is distressing.

Jane.

- Hey, Jane!

- Hey, sweetie, you're home early.

I gotta talk to you.

I gotta talk to you, Mr. Harper.

The second payment's

due on the pool.

Billy, will you get your friend

out of the cement!

- I've been fired.

- Huh?

I've been fired.

Oh, baby.

What did you say?

He said he's tired.

Hey, Mr. Harper,

you were canned today.

What sign are you?

He's an Aquarius.

You poor bastard. I knew it.

What a bummer.

Mars is in direct conjunction

with Saturn.

It's a tough time for us Aquarians.

You know that bill I gave you,

for the pool, the second payment?

I'll give you until next Wednesday.

Esperanza.

La cena is ready.

- Thank you.

- Gracias.

I can't believe that Charlie fired you.

- Charlie fired me.

- Dirty rat.

After all the years of bottom-pinching

I took from him.

Does that mean we're gonna

be poor, like the Waltons?

No, Billy, it doesn't.

What are we gonna do about the pool?

We'll get it finished first.

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