Full Metal Jacket Page #7

and squared

away that the Virgin Mary herself would be

proud to

go in there and take a dump!

JOKER & COWBOY

(in

unison)

Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN:

Private Joker, do

you believe in the Virgin

Mary?

JOKER:

Sir, no,

sir!

HARTMAN throws down the garbage can with a loud

bang.

HARTMAN:

Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you

correctly!

JOKER:

Sir, the private said "No, sir," sir!

HARTMAN:

Why, you little maggot! You make me want to

vomit!

HARTMAN slaps

JOKER, hard, across the cheek.

HARTMAN:

You goddam

communist heathen, you had best

sound off that you love the Virgin

Mary . . . or

I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you do

love

the Virgin Mary, don't you?!

JOKER:

Sir, negative,

sir!!

HARTMAN:

Private Joker, are you trying to offend

me?!

JOKER:

Sir, negative, sir!!! Sir, the private

believes

that any answer he gives will be wrong! And

the Senior

Drill Instructor will beat him

harder if he reverses himself, sir!

HARTMAN:

Who's your squad leader, scumbag?

JOKER:

Sir, the private's squad leader is Private

Snowball, sir!!!

HARTMAN:

Private Snowball!

SNOWBALL double-times up to HARTMAN.

SNOWBALL:

Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered,

sir!

HARTMAN:

Private Snowball, you're fired! Private Joker is

promoted to squad leader!

SNOWBALL:

Sir, aye-aye, sir!

HARTMAN:

Private Pyle!

PYLE:

Private Pyle reporting

as ordered, sir!

HARTMAN:

Private Pyle, from now on

Private Joker is

your new squad leader, and you will bunk

with

him! He'll teach you everything. He'll

teach you how to pee.

PYLE:

Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN:

Private Joker is silly

and he's ignorant, but

he's got guts, and guts is enough. Now, you

ladies carry on.

JOKER, COWBOY & PYLE

(in

unison)

Sir, aye-aye, sir!

20 EXT. TRAINING FIELD--DAY

JOKER:

patiently explains the disassembly of an

M-14 rifle to PYLE.

JOKER:

The bolt. The bolt goes in the receiver.

Operating rod

handle. Operating rod guide.

21 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT

JOKER and PYLE

sitting on their footlockers. JOKER

instructs PYLE in the correct

method of lacing his

combat boots.

JOKER:

And the left

one ... over the right. Right one

over the left. Left one over the

right. Right

one over the left.

22 EXT. CONFIDENCE CLIMB--DAY

On. top of the confidence climb, JOKER gently talks

PYLE over the top.

JOKER:

Just throw your other leg over ... that'a boy.

That's it.

Now just pull the next one over .. .

and you're home free. Ready?

Just throw it

over. That'a boy. Just set it down. All right?

PYLE:

breathes heavily. He is scared but he manages

to get over.

JOKER:

There you go. Congratulations, Leonard. You

did it.

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