Free Money

Synopsis: Walrus-like warden, Sven "Swede" Sorenson, a cross between Bluto and Wimpy, runs the prison, murders convicts who escape, and has the FBI on his trail in the form of agent Karen Polarski, the daughter of the town's corrupt judge. Swede's twins tell their father they're pregnant (they aren't), so he pushes their dim boyfriends, Bud and Larry, into shotgun marriages. He also turns his sons-in-law into slave labor, so Bud hatches an escape plan: to rob a train carrying old bills to the mint for burning. Larry's his reluctant accomplice. When Bud is captured and railroaded into Swede's jail, his death looks certain, until he hatches yet another plan that requires Larry's help.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Yves Simoneau
Production: Lionsgate
Rotten Tomatoes:
91 min







Damn it.

We just wanted to

tell you something.

Daddy, we wanted to let

you know that...

Don't you ever, ever

wake me up like that again.

It's extremely


- Daddy? Daddy?

- Yeah?

We're pregnant.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

What did you say?

We're pregnant...

Both of us.

You mean

you were raped?

What? No.

Daddy, no.

We've been with them

for, like, 3 months.

Daddy, you don't know

what you're talking about here.

These people

gave you a drug,

and then

they raped you.

- I'm gonna kill them.

- Daddy, no!

You're gonna be a grampa,

not a murderer.

I'm going to kill...

Daddy! No!

Oh, oh, help me, Jesus,

in my time of need.

Please take your seats

and prepare to share.

Look at the Swede

in that suit.

Are we not twice blessed by

this beautiful, beautiful sight?

Dearly beloved, we gather today

for this double wedding

doubly happy, celebrating

the purity of commitment,

doubling our Joy

as we redouble our efforts

to double up on love.

She was afraid

to come out of the locker

She was

as nervous as she could be

She was afraid

to come out of the locker

She was

afraid that somebody would see

Ia la

ha ha ha!

It was an itsy bitsy,


Yellow polka dot bikini

that she wore

for the first time today

An itsy bitsy,


Yellow polka dot bikini

so in the locker

she wanted to stay

She was afraid

to come out of the ocean...

So, your

folks here?

Nah. They got a place

up in loon falls.

Too far to drive,

you know?



Mine didn't

come, neither.

Ha ha ha!

Gee, in town 3 months,

I'm married.

That's lucky, huh?


So, how'd you

propose to Inga?

It was

real romantic.

You can't

be pregnant.

Well, I am.

Do you have to be?

Oh, the Swede

is gonna kill me.

We're just gonna

have to get married.

I know.


You're gonna be

a daddy, too.

What do

you mean, "too"?

I proposed to Liv

in the same fashion.

I'm pregnant.

Oh, the Swede

will kill me.

I'll have to

marry you, you know?

I know,

and daddy knows.

Is he happy?

Ha ha ha!

We're lucky the Swede

didn't kill us.

Oh, that day, I thought

he was gonna.

I want you stinkballs

to come over here.

I want your asses

in this chair right now.

Come on.

First off, I hate you.

Mr. Sorenson...

Shut up!

If you interrupt me

once more,

I'm gonna tear your nuts off

and sew them in your mouth.

I'm sorry.

Now, my daughters

are the flowers of my life...

And you ripped them,

and if I had my chance

right now,

I'd kill you

with my bare hands.

Real fun guy, huh?

Yeah. He's fun.

I suppose we're

in this together.


your name again?


Larry Lundstrom.

It was an itsy bitsy,


Yellow polka dot bikini

I'm so glad we're getting

to be brides together, Inga.

I told you Larry was the way

to go to get like me and bud.

Oh, for sure.

Now I got to really

get pregnant.

You better, Liv.

You have to.

Oh, I know.

There they are.

Hi, guys.


True love

is a two-way street

Ha ha ha,

it's a happy feat...


- Have fun, guys.

- Later.

Oh, Larry,

it's so romantic.

Oh. Think they

got candles here?

Hey, is that

genuine velvet?

What's that?

Wow, they

wasted no time.

That can't be too good

for the baby.


Does that mean

that we can't...

You know. What?

Why not?

Well, because

of the baby.

No. We'll be fine.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Watch this. Watch.

Bud Dyerson, you get off

of my daughter.



Stop humping on her

and get over here,

or I'll rip your

spinal cord out.

Ha ha!

Where is he?

Well, what

took you so long?

Tuck in your shirt.

Cover up your belly.

Where is he?

That was mean.


It was him


You don't ever do that voice

around me again, Larry.

Get over here.

I mean that. Never again.

Hee hee!



Hurry, boys!



Sir, it's Billy, sir.

We got him. Over.

Wounded, bleeding

but alive.

Sir, should we

bring him back here?

Rolf, your call.

Sky is clearing.

Gonna be a nice day.


Ha ha!

You're not coming, judge?

You don't need me.

You know what to do.

Come on.

Let's go, huh?

Here he is, sir.

Well, what are we

looking at here?

Oh, yeah.

Well, he's tore up

pretty good.

You get

the ambulance.

Better get a tourniquet

on this fella.

Turn him around.

Turn him around.


All of tinseltown

is buzzing about them...

Those star-studded

television spots for...

Look at this place.

I feel like I'm living

in a mailbox.

I don't see daddy or Liv

anymore, and nice job.

It's ok. Honey.

Honey, honey, it's ok.

It's ok. Relax.

It's ok.

Come here. Sit down.

It's ok.

It's all right.

You're all right.

Here. Have

a wine cooler.

We'll watch these

together here. Ok.

You ok?


...leading to 7 bedrooms.

"Why 7?" You ask.

One for each night

of the week, of course.

We raise our glasses

with a hale and hearty cheer.

I want to go visit Inga.

Why? You see her

in school every day.

Well, let's have them

over here, then.

I'm lonely, Larry.

I'm here,

your husband.

Yeah. Well, just that

ever since the wedding,

I really miss Inga,

and I miss daddy, too.

You do?

Yeah. I do.



Federal agent just cleared

the east checkpoint, sir.

I'll be right down.


There's somebody

here for you.


Hello, warden.

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Tony Peck

Tony Peck (born September 5, 1983 in Louisiana, Missouri) is the drummer for Peoria, Illinois based band, The Forecast. He was raised in Pleasant Hill, Illinois and is a 2002 graduate of Pleasant Hill High School where he was active in the school's music programs and was a 2002 recipient of the Arion Award. After graduating from high school he began touring and recording with several bands, including The Junior Varsity, for two years before being asked to join The Forecast in July 2004. Tony currently resides in Quincy, Illinois. Tony uses C&C drums and Sabian cymbals. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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