Freaky Deaky Page #5

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or the real one?

Both.

Well, the real reason is because

I put Woody in jail.

His lawyer called the mayor's office,

they dropped in

on the department.

Got the assault charge against

Woody withdrawn

on the grounds that he was

the one assaulted, not you,

and I overreacted.

So that's the real reason,

what's the official one?

Having a residence outside

the city limits.

You're kidding?

You have to live in Detroit?

Yeah, that's one of the rules.

So why don't you?

Well, I did.

Up until last week.

My... My girl kicked me out,

so I'm staying

at my dad's place.

I got you fired.

No, you did not.

Woody did.

I don't want you to give that another

thought, okay?

I'll handle it.

How about a grilled cheese sandwich

and a cup of coffee?

If I have any bread.

And coffee.

What you don't have is furniture.

Furniture can wait.

(PHONE RINGING)

- Hey, Mom.

DONNELL:
- Greta?

You like Greta or you like Ginger?

- I like Ginger myself.

- Who is this?

I represent Mr. Woody Ricks.

There seems to be some

misunderstanding.

I believe we can settle this matter

and you will be happy, Ginger?

This is his lawyer?

Yeah, I'll talk with the man

and get back to you.

That's Woody's chauffeur

pretending to be his lawyer;

it's Donnell.

They know where I live.

You'll be safer at my dad's,

just until I get this thing

figured out, all right?

Look, I'm not a kid.

I don't need you to take care of me.

I know that.

ROBIN:
Ready? Listen.

So now you're waiting, what, hoping

maybe he'll drink himself to death?

- Mark?

MARK:
- Huh?

What would you say if you

didn't have to wait?

If Woody were to

suddenly disappear?

How?

In a cloud of smoke.

Is this like a magic trick?

Something like it, only better.

Better? Okay.

How?

Because once he disappears,

he never comes back.

What would you say to that?

I'd say how much is a trick

like that worth?

50 million, right?

Might not be that much.

There's one thing

you have to do.

What?

Give me a key to Woody's limo.

Okay.

Don't look so surprised, Skip.

You get me that key,

I'll put the bomb in the trunk;

he opens the door,

great balls of fire.

What if he opens the other door?

I'll wire 'em both.

Hey Donnell, who would you

rather pork?

This brunette or...

that Swedish broad?

The brunette, because she has

my favorite kind of body on her.

Right.

Hey, where's my weed?

You must have left it

in the car.

Be right back.

Damn.

It's been like two weeks ago.

Pick up most of

a whole pound of weed,

then left it in...

Somebody don't like the man.

...b*tch!

Mr. Woody, if the brunette wouldn't

straighten her hair,

I'd tell the bimbo to get a wig.

Put a musical.

It goes better with weed.

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