Frasier Page #5

Season #1

---

Niles:
Funny you should mention that. Maris and I were just

discussing this. We feel we should do more to share the

responsibility.

Frasier:
You mean you'd take him in?

Niles:
[laughs incredulously] Dear God, no! But we would be

willing to help you pay for a home care worker.

Frasier:
A what?

Niles:
You know, someone who cooks and cleans and can help Dad with

his physical therapy.

Frasier:
These angels exist?

Niles:
I know of an agency -let me arrange for them to send a few

people over to meet with you.

Frasier:
Niles, I can't thank you enough! I, I, I feel this

overwhelming urge to hug you!

Niles:
Remember what Mom always said: "A handshake is as good as a

hug."

Frasier:
Wise woman.

They shake hands.

FADE TO:

8 of12

THE HOME CARE SPECIALIST

Scene Six -Apartment

A woman is standing in the hallway, talking to Frasier.

Frasier:
I have never been more impressed with a human being

in my life!

He closes the door on her. Cut to inside the apartment. Martin is

in The Armchair; Eddie is on the couch.

Frasier:
[angry] Now what was wrong with that one?!

Martin:
She was casing the joint.

Frasier:
"Casing the joint!" She spent two years with Mother Teresa!

Martin:
Well, if I were Mother Teresa, I'd check my jewellery box!

The doorbell rings.

Frasier:
Oh, this is the last one. Can you please try to keep an

open mind?

He opens the door to Daphne Moon, a British woman in her twenties.

She is adjusting her bra as Frasier opens the door.

Daphne:
Oh! Hello -caught me with my hand in the biscuit tin!

[takes her hand out and shakes Frasier's] I'm Daphne, Daphne

Moon.

Frasier:
Frasier Crane. Please come in.

Daphne:
Thank you. [enters]

Frasier:
Er, this is my father, Martin Crane. Dad, this is Daphne

Moon.

Daphne:
Nice to meet you. [sees Eddie] Oh, and who might this be?

Frasier:
[darkly] That is Eddie.

Martin:
I call him "Eddie Spaghetti."

Daphne:
Oh, he likes pasta?

Martin:
No, he has worms.

Frasier:
Er, have a seat, Miss Moon.

Daphne:
Daphne. Thank you. [sees The Armchair and pats it] Oh, will

you look at that. What a comfy chair! It's like I always

say, start with a good piece and replace the rest when you

can afford it.

She smiles at Frasier. So does Martin. Daphne sits on the couch.

Frasier:
Yes. Well, er, perhaps you should start by telling us a

little bit about yourself, Miss Moon.

Daphne:
Well, I'm originally from Manchester, England...

Frasier:
Oh really, did you hear that, Dad?

Martin:
I'm three feet away. There's nothing wrong with my hearing.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes