Fourth Man Out

---

1

Today's the day.

This is it.

Whew.

All right guys, I wanna talk

to you about something.

Umm...

This isn't easy for me,

but I'm...

I'm turning 24 today,

and I think it's just time

I told you the truth.

What I mean is...

Okay so the thing is that, uh...

Hey Martha, how are you?

Adam, I hope

you like blueberries.

Oh wow. Thanks.

You didn't have to do all this.

Oh, nonsense.

It was no trouble at all.

It's just leftovers

from church group this week.

Oh yeah?

It's so nice to have a good

strong man like yourself

- that enjoys my cooking.

- Oh, thank you.

Oh and you're still free

next Saturday, right?

Oh, Saturday?

My niece is definitely

coming this time

and I have told her

all about you.

Oh yeah, about that,

I am actually...

Saturday is not really

good for me.

- Oh, you must.

- Okay, but...

- You must.

- Well there's...

- You have to.

- Can I...

- You'll be thrilled to do it.

- You know that's...

It's got to happen, I tell you.

- - Oh wait, did

I catch you at a bad time?

Oh no, it's just, it's Chris.

He's just, he's picking me up.

Oh you boys

don't get in any trouble.

Don't do anything

the good lord wouldn't do.

Okay. Thanks.

Thanks for these.

Oh I have to see Chris.

I can't do it.

I've gotta see him.

Hi, Chris.

Hey, Martha.

You have got to bang

your neighbor, man.

It is the least you can do.

Nah, it's not like

I'm keeping her tupperware.

Besides, she's trying

to set me up with her niece.

Dude, then bang

the frickin' niece, man.

What are you waiting for?

I don't think

I could do that, man.

- The thing is... dude, I don't

wanna hear your excuses.

You're too damn nitpicky.

That's why

you're on a cold streak.

I don't care

how busted this chick is,

give her your dick

and keep the muffins coming.

Yeah.

It's gonna be an awesome night.

He's 25

trying to stay alive

trying to pay rent

trying to survive

no dollars in my pocket

yeah I'm losing my mind

yeah I'm trying

to pay rent

where I'm from it's summer

when it's raining

I'm so used

to everyone complaining

I'm the one complaining

trying to make some money

so I can see the ladies

statue of Liberty,

what you gonna give to me

woo woo

whoa

whoa

- Just take the shot.

- Oh, another miss.

- Fee-fi...

- You only get two shots dude.

- Fo-fum.

- Yes!

- What's up fuckfaces?

- Get in here, homos.

We leave for the bar in an hour,

I want you blacked out

by then, all right?

Especially you, birth day boy.

Yeah.

What's the rush?

That rush is that I haven't

had a Saturday off

in over a month...

Michelle, or from work?

- Uh from both, dude.

- Uhh.

And I am going to savor

every minute of it.

By being hung over all day?

Yeah, of course.

How'd you like that video

we sent you, huh?

Oh, yeah. She was

a real screamer, man.

And then that dude like dropped

a dq blizzard on her face.

Yeah, I could never

finish those.

It was almost as bad as the one I

dropped on Ortu's mom's face

last night.

- Hey, watch the eye.

- Domination.

Oh, Adam.

You wanna get gay?

What?

You want a shot?

- I'll get gay.

- I'll get gay.

Oh, y... yeah, sure.

Birth-gay.

Birth-gay shots.

Birth-gay shots.

Boys, there are

some good-looking girls

here tonight.

Best of luck to all of you.

Happy birthday, Adam.

- Cheers.

- To Adam.

- All right.

- So, uh...

Holy tits.

You gotta be fucking

kidding me, dude.

You guys are so lucky you

don't have girlfriends, man.

Look at those bombs.

You just bury your face in them

and be totally fine with it.

Yeah, I don't think

she'd be totally fine with it.

You don't think

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)