Forget Paris Page #3

You're american.Yes.

On behalf of the airline,

i would like to apologize for any problem...

Problem?

There's no problem.

You lost my father; my rear end has

become molded to a plastic chair;

And i've got amazing gas

from eating those almonds.

I've never been happier in my life.

I'm a walking mardi gras.

That's very funny, really. You have a

delightfully sharp way of expressing yourself.

A terrible thing has been done to you,

and we are very sorry.

You have every right

to insult, belittle...

And abuse the staff

who have tried to help you.

In fact, we thank you,

and we voted you "traveler of the month."

So, congratulations.

- Is there anything else you'd like to say?

- No, i think that's it.

Good.

We found your father.

The coffin landed here, but,

evidently, it was mis-Tagged.

See? You should always

tip more at the curb.Oh, definitely.

Then it accidentally

was sent to switzerland.Switzerland?

We had some trouble

dealing with them.They're vicious.

They punched holes in my cheese.

I thought they were neutral.

They insisted on holding your father

in quarantine for health reasons.

He's dead! He has no health.

He's been de-Healthed.

Hey, there he is. Okay?

Let's get out of here.

Oh.

Do you have

the claim checks?Why?

Are there two of these here

that look exactly alike?

My coffin has red yarn

on the handle.

Hey, what are you doing?

We have to make sure

that this is your father.

If it's an angry little guy giving you the

finger, it's him. Don't make me look at him.

I'm sorry, but with all the confusion,

i really need you to identify him.

Then put him on his stomach,

because i'm used to seeing him walk away.

Right.

- Okay?

- Okay.

It's enough.

It'll be fine. Come on.

Waiter? Pardon, monsieur.

Garcon!Ooh, that looks good.

Hi.

Are you alone?Alone? I don't even

have silverware.

Sit down.Thanks.

What exactly is that?

This?

I don't know.

I thought i'd ordered a martini,

but apparently i ordered a backyard.

Are you hungry?

Can i order you the wrong thing?

Oh, no, thank you.

I'm on my way out for the evening.

Yeah, i noticed.

Auto show?

No, actually,

i'm going to the opera.Oh.

Don't leave

until the fat lady sings.

Oh, i never do.

Waiter, please.

This is ri...

Oh, it's a loaner.

I didn't have a jacket.Right. I guessed.

But it's a good look for me, don't you think?

The ellis island collection.

Yeah, it's you.

And i don't even know you.

Anyway, i really have to go,

But i wanted to drop by to tell you

that everything is taken care of.

We'll deliver the casket

to the cemetery.

A car will pick you up at 8:00 and

bring you back to the airport.

For your return flight,

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