Forbidden Woman

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(siren blaring in distance)

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(stammering)

Woman drivers get

on my nerves, man.

Try to own the road...

you shouldn't be in charge of

2,000 pounds of steel anyway.

That's a job for a man

and a man only.

(chuckling)

What kind of man

jumps into the backseat

and screams like a baby

for no reason?

What... For no reason?

For no reason?

You almost ran

three cars off the road

and when I asked you to turn for

Starbucks coffee

you almost spun a 360.

Man, look, you are not

a stunt driver, Sheila.

I shouldn't have had to

call your mama to talk you

out of that backseat, Jarvis...

that just ain't right.

What... this ain't right.

No, hey, you know what?

I thought you were going to

keep that between us.

Well, I didn't say that

you had to make her sing to you

to calm you down.

You know what,

I've reached my point.

I've reached my boiling point.

My whole life

flashed before my eyes.

- (phone ringing)

- It must have been a long flash

- 'cause you older than dirt.

- Oh, oh, I'm older than dirt.

I'm young

where it counts.

Hey, Charles... shh!

(laughing)

I'm glad you could get

a few seconds to get away.

Oh, yes, yes!

I love the purse.

It arrived yesterday.

Oh, you know it.

(chuckling)

Yeah, I know...

(chuckling)

Oh, no, no, no.

No, I won't call you

on this line any more.

But you call me when

you can, okay.

Okay, mwah,

I miss... I miss...

(chuckling)

Disconnect,

huh, dial tone, huh?

You are never gonna learn,

you know that?

One of these days, one of these

wives of these married men

you've been running around with

will make a story out of you

on the 6:
00 news.

I can see it right now.

"Famous jump-off

gets knocked off."

Back to you, Jim.

Just shut up.

You just jealous

'cause your woman

got you wrapped around

her little finger.

When she say jump, you jump!

At least I'm jumping

in my own house.

When these married men

jump off of you

they jump right

back to their wives

'cause you're like the famous

trampoline of Chicago.

Yeah, I said it.

Hello, that's right.

Look, I'm just out here

trying to get all the nice things

that I deserve, okay?

Rather than be

unhappy like you.

- At least I don't pretend.

- You don't pretend?

Every day you pretend.

You walk around here all uppity,

your nose so far in the air,

your feet don't

touch the ground.

This a old-fashioned home wrecker,

all right?

You know, my grandmother,

she had a word for it.

It's a photograph word,

they called it a "Jezebel" spirit.

You're just mad 'cause

I wouldn't be caught dead

with a junior attorney like you.

Yeah, I'll be a junior,

and you can be a Jezebel.

How 'bout that

for the time being?

Man:
Good morning, everybody.

Isn't it a glorious morning,

I must say.

Are we getting a raise?

You know, since you're always

pretending to be working

I'm going to pretend

you didn't ask me that.

- Amen, Brother.

- Praise the Lord.

We need to make sure

our files are in order

for the Simon and Stevens

presentation.

You know...

that's exactly why I love having

you as a part of this firm.

You always do

the things that are important.

You know, with this merger

Simon and Stevens...

it's gonna do

a lot for this firm.

Yes, it is.

You know, um...

my daddy started this firm with

a thousand-dollar loan

from our great-great grandfather,

who was a slave hand

in Mississippi.

He built this firm from nothing.

And just to think,

pretty soon,

we're gonna merge

with one of the biggest firms

in the state.

And you know what?

I'm gonna need

a VP of Operations.

I'm thinking...

...corner office.

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