For a Good Time, Call... Page #3

I said it was private!

And you can hang

all your pictures.

Okay, now don't mind the odor.

It's a bit pungent.

That's Bubbie.

She's still lingering,

but that'll be gone.

It'll be dissipated.

Look at this, though.

Look at this personal space.

Invaluable in New York, right?

This is a bedroom, or is it?

Or is it a dance studio? I don't

know, there's so much space here.

I mean, can you believe this?

And the closet space?

Forget the windows, the windows

with the light coming in.

It's like living

on the sun!

These hardwood floors,

if there was a knot in the floor

big enough for my ding-dong,

I would f***

the sh*t out of them.

Good. Good. How could you trick me?

You know I hate her.

'Cause you need a place to

stay and she needs a roommate.

I don't want to.

I know.

Fine. Okay.

Okay.

The place is amazing.

You're right, okay? Right?

Yes, the windows are huge,

the floors are lovely, okay'?

What is that?

Is that a pedicure chair?

It is for my back.

Okay, it's for her back.

She's got a bad back.

What is all this sh*t?

I don't know.

Stop touching

Bubbie's things!

Okay, you, you,

let's go, outside.

Don't touch it!

In the hallway.

Conference, family conference.

Get over here.

Yeah, I know, pouting!

We're gonna take a walk.

B*tch one and b*tch two, go. I

need a minute of your time, okay?

A minute where

you are just neutral

and you're not

judging each other

and you're not holding

onto all this sh*t.

Close your eyes, close your eyes.

Open your hearts, please.

Indulge me. Please.

Oh, god bless you!

Thank you, Katherine.

You guys, together,

could take this place

from nursing home

to "let's nurse some

cocktails at home," right?

I'm talking about a trip to Design

Within Reach led by Lauren,

I'm talking about cool

street-art done by Katie,

I'm talking about getting rid of

that floral print monstrosity,

taking it outside, pissing

on it and burning it,

and then you know what, we'll

replace it with something simple,

something from...

I don't know.

Now, I want you to open your

eyes on the count of three.

And I want you to

see your new home.

And I don't want you to

thank me right away,

but overtime, yes, I think

I'm owed a little thanks.

One, two, three.

I release you.

It does sound like

a nice place to live.

Yeah, almost as nice as that neighborhood

you left me in so I could get raped.

What?

You were raped?

- No, but I could have been.

- God!

Why can't my friends

be f***in' friends?

Whenever I smell urine,

it reminds me

of the time

you peed in my hair.

Oh! There was a bump! What do

you want me to say about it?

There was no bump!

Okay, stop it!

You two hate each other

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes