Fletch Page #6

DR. DOLEN

So where do you know Alan from?

FLETCH:

We play tennis at the club.

DR. DOLEN

Really. The California Racquet Club?

FLETCH:

Yes.

DR. DOLEN

That's my club too. I haven't seen you there.

FLETCH:

Well, I haven't played in a while because of

these kidney pains.

DR. DOLEN

Right, and how long have you had these

pains, Mr. Barber?

FLETCH:

That's Babar.

DR. DOLEN

Two bs?

FLETCH:

One. B-a-b-a-r.

DR. DOLEN

That's two.

FLETCH:

But not right next to each other. I thought

that's what you meant.

DR. DOLEN

Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about

an elephant named Babar?

FLETCH:

I don't know. I don't have any.

DR. DOLEN

No children?

FLETCH:

No books. No elephants either. No

really good elephant books.

DR. DOLEN

(eyes Fletch curiously)

Still, it'd an odd name. I don't remember seeing

it on the club registry.

Fletch's eyes drift to Dolen's side table with its unnerving assortment of medical paraphernalia.

FLETCH:

Oh, I don't belong formally. I've gone with my aunt.

DR. DOLEN

Your aunt?

FLETCH:

Mrs. Smith.

DR. DOLEN

Joan or Margaret Smith.

FLETCH:

Right.

DR. DOLEN

Well, which one?

FLETCH:

Margaret.

DR. DOLEN

Funny old bird.

FLETCH:

Is she ever. I've got some stories....

DR. DOLEN

I'll bet. Shame about Ed.

FLETCH:

(vamping)

It was. Really a shame. To go so suddenly.

DR. DOLEN

Oh, he was dying for years.

FLETCH:

Sure, but the end was so sudden.

DR. DOLEN

He was in intensive care for eight weeks.

FLETCH:

Yes, but the very end, when he actually died,

that was extremely sudden.

(quickly)

You know, Alan and I were recently speaking of

dying. Told me Boyd Aviation took out a lot of

insurance on him. You must have to be in some kind

of perfect health to get that kind of policy.

DR. DOLEN

Bend over and drop your pants, Mr. Babar.

FLETCH:

Oh really, there's no need to --

we don't want to do that....

DR. DOLEN

Just relax....

FLETCH:

Honest, I feel fine. You better be married.

Fletch looks alarmed as Dolan pushes him into position. Dolan puts on a plastic glove.

53 CLOSE - FLETCH

FLETCH:

Did I say 'kidneys'? I meant my ear. Maybe I

should see an ear dahhh --

(as Dolan starts to probe from behind)

Ever serve time?

DR. DOLEN

Breathe easy....

FLETCH:

Anyway, I'm surprised Alan got the policy so easily.

I know there's a history of cancer in the family.

DR. DOLEN

(noncommittally)

There is?

FLETCH:

Whoa, look out there. You really need the whole fist?

DR. DOLEN

Just relax.

FLETCH:

(reacts to a poke)

Gee, Alan's been looking kind of sick lately.

Is he all right?

DR. DOLEN

I can't discuss another patient. You know that.

(rising into frame and washing up)

Well, I can't find anything wrong with you.

FLETCH:

I'm sure it's not for a lack of looking. Maybe

I should get a real complete physical. You give

Alan an annual, don't you?

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