Five Star Page #4

She annoys me.

And she got those couches with the

freaking... with the plastic on it.

It be sticking to my skin.

I hate... I hate her house.

Are you giving me

that look, like...

You know exactly

what I'm talking about.

You know she put that plastic there

so you can protect the furniture.

Yeah.

She protecting the furniture

for the past, like, 40 years.

But she got it for 40 years

'cause she put that plastic...

She gonna protect it

for another 40 years, right?

Tell her to take that sh*t off.

Now you're getting too, like,

plastic in the furniture

and sh*t.

Come on, Ma.

So...

Do you know, um, about...

About what? Safe sex?

Come on, Ma.

Don't start talking

about this stuff.

So who is supposed to

talk to you about this stuff?

I know about this stuff.

What do you know about?

I took sex ed.

Okay. What did it teach you?

First of all, I learned

how to put a condom on.

You know?

Back in my days, you didn't

have to wear condoms, because...

Come on, Ma.

You'd be with just one person.

And you don't be running around

with Tom, Dick and Harry.

You just stay with one man, and you didn't

have to worry about condoms or no condoms.

There's nothing wrong

with more than one girl.

What?

I did not raise you

to be a player.

I raised you better than that.

Come on, Ma.

I told you about respecting...

I told you about

respecting a woman.

I do respect women.

If Jasmin comes here crying,

you're gonna get it.

Ma, she's not gonna come here crying.

If Jasmin comes over here...

complaining about you and telling

me that you broke her heart,

you're gonna deal with me, boy.

I love you, Mother.

Yeah, I love you too.

The A/C is on.

So why's it not working?

Call the landlord.

So, what, he can come get punched

in the face?

Why you gonna

punch him in his face?

Because he's f***ing annoying

with all this bullshit.

F***ing yesterday

he texted me...

"f you have a problem

with paying the rent..."

and you have a problem

with being there,

"I'll refund you

your security deposit."

Complaining... You ain't fixed the

f***ing closet doors for six months.

How long we waited

for the closet doors,

the bathroom,

the sink was f***ed up?

Six months.

Now you complaining

'cause of one month?

And you gonna tell me

I can get my deposit back?

Come bring my deposit

so I can kick your ass...

all up and down

the f***ing block,

then ship him back

to f***ing Nigeria.

You can't put hands on him.

Why not?

You put your hands on him

and risk him calling the police.

That's why you

do the job to the T.

You mean kill him?

You gonna kill him?

No. Don't have to kill him.

Just bust his head to a coma.

Put him in a permanent sleep.

Rate this script:2.7 / 3 votes