First Girl I Loved

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Are you kidding me?

Mijo... Mijo...

No, Abuela, I

have to go to school.

Shut up.

Abuela, I was

talking to the phone.

Hello!

Yo! What's good?

Oh, damn! What do we have here?

A new bike!

Chromoly frame.

Matte black finish.

Okay, let me see this.

Oh, damn.

Yo, it's smooth.

Shopkeeper:

Okay. Okay. Okay.

I got it. I got it.

Anne? No...

Putahombre...

What happened?

I think Abuelita threw

away all the corkscrews.

She's trying not to

drink so much.

So, should we go buy one?

Oh, f*cking pain, man,

all the way to the store?

So I'm just supposed to sit here

and not drink this bottle

of four-dollar wine?

Well...

Jesus Christ! No! No.

Let's just get a pen.

Let's just get a pen

and push the cork down.

Cliff, do you have a pen?

We can push it down...

No, that's stupid.

It'll just taste all Corky.

Doing something stupid?

Rule number one,

don't do stupid things.

So what's the occasion?

Oh, I just wanted to

talk about things.

Yeah?

You know, I've actually heard

quite a few things in my time.

Oh!

What? Oh my god, no! Cliff!

No. The glass, cliff.

What?

It'll get all ground up

in the wine. See?

Hm.

We just need something that's

going to take it off clean.

Oh, shit...

Whoaaa...

Cliff.

What?

One, two, three, ready?

All right, cliff, I am scared.

One...

Two...

Don't do it. Seriously,

don't do it.

Shit. I'm gonna do it.

Okay, cliff, I think this is a

really bad idea...

Um... what's a Chromoly frame?

I just explained it to you.

Oh, please, tell me what a

Chromoly frame is.

Look, I tried...

I tried to understand, I just...

You just didn't know how

to articulate it to me.

I know you're doing that thing.

What thing?

The thing where you see how many

times I'll repeat myself.

Oh, f*ck, man!

Now speaking of things

what were you going to tell me?

Just hold on,

you're being way too loud.

Oh, come on.

I thought you had some

great news or some shit.

No.

Okay...

The other night I went to...

I went to cover a game.

Uh huh.

Um... f*ck, this is

so weird.

Um...

Sorry, it's just like all of a

sudden my heart's just like,

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum.

Uh... you're my best friend

and I'm really worried that

you're going to think

differently of me.

And I don't know what I would

do without you.

I, um... I like... I like...

I like somebody or whatever.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Damn.

I mean, you're a great friend

and all,

but I kinda got a

girlfriend right now...

Don't be dumb.

You're f*ckin' dumb.

Please. Seriously, can we be

serious for a second?

Oh, wow, all right.

All right. All right.

All right.

Anne, come here.

Look. Seriously, okay?

What's good?

Do you know Sasha Basaez?

Hm, no. Who's he?

Sasha Basaez.

Sounds like some dumb-ass

baseball player

or something.

That's actually a

really good guess.

Oh my god, he is? Oh, so good!

Except it's... softball,

not baseball.

Mom! I'll be back.

Anne. Where are you going?

Oh wow! What happened

to your head?

Sorry. That came out wrong.

They're pretty.

I have to go do a project.

Where?

Mom, it's right there.

Well, why is this the first time

I'm hearing about a project?

It's this thing. It's on acids

and bases, it's due tomorrow.

Actually, no, no,

it was due today,

but my stupid lab partner didn't

have her thing done.

So it's already going to be a

whole letter-grade off.

Every second that I'm standing

here makes the likelihood

of us finishing on time go down

just... just that much more.

Okay. If you keep your pants on,

I'll drive you. Ten minutes.

No, mom! I have to go to school

'cause I left my bike there

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