Fired Up Page #4

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You nailed a backward sponge

and go cradle.

No. We threw my sister up in the air

to get our Frisbee.

It was either that

or we get three ladders.

Come on, guys.

You love cheering. Don't run from it.

This is a safe place.

We kind of do. It's so much

more athletic than football.

If it were up to us, we'd go

with you ladies to cheer camp.

But we're football meatheads.

We gotta march in lockstep

to what society expects.

Don't tell anyone, okay?

Totally ruin our rep.

- We'll catch you later.

- Have a good summer.

We're gonna go watch

a Bears' game on TV.

Go, Bears

I'm supposed to believe

the biggest jocks in school...

...all along really wanted

to be cheerleaders?

Don't get caught up in the lockstep

of society's expectations.

They tossed Poppy

like 20 feet in the air.

Look, Carly,

we don't have any muscle.

If you really wanna do better this year,

they're our only hope.

Unless you guys wanna try steroids,

which I'm totally open to.

- I'm just saying.

- I don't care. I don't trust those guys.

They're not coming. I'm the captain.

Miss Klingerhoff is the coach.

Let's see what she thinks.

What a fantastic idea.

It's exactly what this squad needs

to just push it over the top.

But Miss Klingerhoff,

they have never done it before.

They don't know any of our cheers,

and, come on, it's Nick and Shawn.

Don't judge a book

by its cover, Carly.

You never really know what a book

is about until you get to page 50.

Fifty?

- Wouldn't guess a page over 40.

- More like 35.

My chickens.

You come here, you.

All right. One down, one to go.

What are we gonna say to Coach

Sh*t-For-Words to get out of football?

What every kid says to get out

of everything he doesn't wanna do.

So not only do I find out yesterday

I'm adopted...

...the people I've called mom and

dad are infertile imposters...

...who bought me outside a meth clinic

for two boxes of Sudafed...

...but I also get

this news dropped on me:

My birth father, Bruce...

...well, he needs a kidney

and I'm the only match.

And apparently Bruce needs it stat.

You need it stat, Bruce? Huh?

I needed a father stat

instead of the stay-at-home dad...

...who showers me with love every

day, this goddamn spermless liar!

So now I gotta be at Kaiser

Permanente tomorrow at 6 a. m.

I know. Bruce couldn't even afford

a real hospital.

Managed care. It's ironic, huh?

Never managed to care for me.

You shitting me?

Are you saying you can't go to camp?

Yeah, but don't make me say it,

coach.

Because it's eating me up inside.

It's eating me up.

Sh*t!

- Cheer camp! Cheer camp!

- One, two.

- Cheer camp! Cheer camp!

- One, two.

Cheer camp! One, two.

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