Final Exam Page #3

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Uh-huh, and you love it.

So, it's tonight or who

knows when, hot shot.

How about here and now?

Uh-uh. Sorry.

This is final examination week.

Pop quizzes just won't do.

Tonight, meet me in

my rehearsal room.

And we'll go

upstairs to the art studio.

Art in the dark can be very tactile.

Yeah, I like it.

Studying form and texture.

( Class ) oh!

I can't help it.

I'm brilliant.

( Burps)

And I can't help

it because I'm offensive.

I got better things to do.

I'd like an A, please.

(sinister music)

Oh!

Coach!

You weren't ready, Wildman.

One of these days you

are gonna get yours.

Uh-uh.

You see, I'll be ready.

That's why I'm the teacher,

and you're just a student.

- Hi, Coach.

- Hey, Radish.

When you gonna do your

equipment inventory?

You know we've got a lot of

our good stuff checked out

that didn't come back in yet.

Well, I was planning...

Well, ya see, we don't get much

in the way of athletes around here.

And I got to take a

little pride in somethin'.

You don't think some of

the guys are sneaking off

to try and get in shape, do ya?

They're not stealing the weights,

running the tracks at night

like they could be.

But now if everybody did that,

see I wouldn't have no job.

Wouldn't be nobody around

here for me to holler at.

Oh, look Coach. I got to go.

I'll talk to ya later.

I'll get on that inventory,

Coach, right away.

I got one more exam,

but it's under control.

See ya later.

Hi, guys.

Hey, you two look like

you're never coming back.

Well, it really

depends on our grades.

You never know.

- Have a good break.

- Yeah, y'all too.

- Yeah. You too.

- Bye bye.

(gunshots and screaming)

Oh my God!

Look out!

(screaming)

I can't believe it!

( Gunshots and screaming

continue )

What in the world

is going on out there?

(gunshots)

(screaming)

Lisa! Look!

Operator!

This is an emergency!

Get me the Sheriff!

This is Lanier College calling.

There's been a multiple

shooting on the campus quadrangle!

Listen!

Several students have been shot

and kidnapped in a brown van!

You've got to get out here!

It's happening!

The psychopaths are here!

( Cheering )

Did you see that?

It was horrible!

They shot at us!

It was murder!

Cold-blooded murder and kidnapping!

I almost got killed and

some other people were shot!

How can you be laughing?

Didn't you see what happened?

Yes, I saw it!

But I also saw that the van had

a Gamma fraternity sticker

on the back window!

Oh.

All right! All right!

The Alpha Gamma strikes again!

( Cheering )

What are Gammas?

What are Gammas?

Boy, they sure did fool me.

I should've known it

was a fraternity prank.

Well, I wouldn't have known

either until I saw Wildman's van.

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