Fender Bender Page #4

What?

Yeah, wait, what? Really?

It was on top of my mom's

car in the driveway.

Why would he do that?

I don't know.

He texted me, too.

- Hilary!

- Wait, how did he get your number?

From the information that we

exchanged at the accident scene.

It's what you're supposed to do.

You give your name,

you give your phone number,

you... your address,

like everything pretty much.

Well, maybe he was just being polite?

You know, actually sorry

for what happened?

Believe it or not, there actually are

some decent people left in this sad world.

Yeah, maybe.

What else?

Well, a little earlier,

somebody snuck in here

and took pictures of me

in the shower with my phone

and then deleted

the accident pictures, too.

Okay, what?

You've gotta be making this up, right?

Was it you guys?

Are you playing a prank on me?

Cause you were talking earlier

about deleting pictures.

I won't be mad. I just wanna know.

No, of course it wasn't.

Okay, this is so nuts.

There's gotta be a good

explanation for all of it.

Were you expecting someone else?

Maybe we should call 911.

Yeah, I like that idea a lot.

No, I've caused so many problems as it is.

We'll take care of this.

Who's there?

- Andy?

- Hey, babe.

- What are you doing here?

- Obvious, ain't it?

You're drunk?

- Like always.

- Wow, obvious again.

You always were crazy smart, Hil.

Look, you can't be here.

You need to leave right now.

Why? Can't I see my girl when I want?

Or do I need a f***ing engraved

invitation or something

to your lame f***ing pizza party?

You were spying on us?

Come on, babe, how many times

do I have to say I'm sorry?

I am not your babe. It's over.

I already told you that.

You need to go right now.

See, that's not the way this works, Hil,

because I say when it's over.

Understand that? Me.

Not you. Never you.

What's this?

Supposed to be threatening or something?

Listen a**hole...

Wow, see you got your poodles

here to protect you.

- Who you calling a dog?

- You, b*tch!

What are you gonna do about it,

hump my leg or something?

It's okay, you guys.

I'll take care of this.

Your call, Hil.

But I think we both know

how this is going to end.

Yeah, see? That's what I thought.

What the...

I'm gonna spell this out

for you nice and slow,

cause I know you're not

the brightest bulb in the box.

You crazy b*tch.

If you don't get your juiced-up,

sorry ass out of here

and leave me and my friends alone,

then you can kiss

the homecoming game goodbye.

It's gonna be really hard scoring touchdowns

with both your goddamn legs in casts.

Get the hell out of my house.

Whatever. Kiss my ass.

No thanks.

I already kicked it. It's much more fun.

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