Fear Page #3

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were those sounds

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What luck I had

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What luck I had

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This house was perfect for me

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My plan would work

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Mommy

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Daddy is here

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Don't be stupid, he's long been dead

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As a child, I always had to fear for my life

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First my mother threw out my father

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Then she lived with another man

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My stepfather

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And she tried to kill me

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She wrapped me in wet diapers

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and put me in front of

the open window

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So I should get cold at the window

and freeze to death

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Sylvia!

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Sylvia...

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Sylvia...

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I was never safe with my mother

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She hated boys

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For my mother, I was only an attempt

to get a girl

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She didn't want a boy like me

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She developed a real infatuation

for my sister

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I didn't exist for her

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My sister could do with me

whatever she wanted

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My mother always just laughed

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But one time, I caught my sister alone

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I really gave it to her then

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I wanted to hit her until she was dead

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In her eyes I saw that she was afraid of me

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That excited me enormously

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Because my mother didn't want me,

I grew up at my grandmother's

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But she always just said that she

had to be ashamed of me

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That I was a shame for the whole family

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Because I was an illegitimate child

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She was incredibly religious

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...and to purge the guilt,

she sent me to a convent

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I didn't want to

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But I had to become a priest

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