Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead Page #3
two whole pizzas.
I better get out of here.
So I've been coming to the US.
off and on for the last 35 years.
I even lived here
when I was a kid.
It's like a second home to me.
I reckon Americans
are super friendly.
Maybe that's because
I'm not from around here.
I also love American food,
and if I'm gonna really change
the way I live my life,
I'm the sort of bloke that likes
So, I couldn't think of
a better place to be food free,
than here in the US.,
the home of the hamburger.
- Have you ever heard of fasting?
- Yeah.
Have you ever fasted?
Only when I ain't got
no money to eat, man!
It's the only time I fast.
I think I sent off for it,
it's ten bucks or something,
"How to Lose 12 pounds
in Four Days."
It consisted of...
First day you eat nothing
but nine franks.
You drink all the liquid,
or diet soda, but nine hot dogs.
- You have nine hot dogs.
- First day.
- I would never be able to do that.
- Why not?
- I don't have enough self-control.
And you?
I don't like not eating.
It doesn't seem healthy to me.
Second day, you have a fruit,
apple or a pear,
but you have to have nine apples.
I went four years one time
eatin' only on Monday,
Wednesday and Friday.
Third day, you had eggs.
Like a boiled egg. You could have
ten, nine boiled eggs.
I don't fast, I eat.
I eat fast,
but you know, I don't fast.
You eat fast.
The fourth day, you could have
a mixture of all three of those.
OK.
And that was the Four Day Diet.
- Did you lose any weight?
- I lost about 12 pounds.
I have no interest in it.
Every time I hear that
they're sick at the end,
they're grumpy.
They hate their kids,
they hate their husbands,
you know, they're pissed off.
Then they reach some high,
then they lose eight pounds,
then they gain it all back
in three weeks.
Yeah, right.
- Are y'all from Australia?
- I am from Australia.
- Yeah, I can tell...
- Why? You been there?
You got the Russell Crowe
thing happening.
- Have I? The accent?
- Yeah, the accent.
Yeah, I'm not as good
of an actor as him.
I hear you.
Right from the beginning
he loved his food.
He'd have a bottle,
but when it was finished,
he'd drink it so quickly,
the other side of the room.
He was known for somebody
who loved Coca-Cola.
Like his father.
Love it!
When I got out of high school,
I was in good shape.
I skipped college,
went straight to work.
I got a job with a brokerage firm
and wound up on the trading floor
of the Sydney Futures Exchange.
After five years, I went
into business for myself.
And at age 23,
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"Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/fat,_sick_%2526_nearly_dead_8051>.
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