Fast Food Nation

Uh, what about,

"The Big One only gets bigger"?

"Everyone wants a Big One."

I got a big one. Sorry.

How about just, like, "Eat me."

Okay, okay. There's no shortage

of future slogans. Phil, what have you got?

Well, um, same-store sales

are up 8.4% this quarter...

which is just... amazing.

And the increase extends

across every demographic.

It's "tweens," heavy users,

minivan dads, even seniors.

So, clearly, the Big One

is not only a big hit...

it is quickly becoming

the flagship of our brand.

Which we'll be building on, both in

the upcoming second half of our campaign...

and in merchandising.

Terrific. Don, what about

those Little Big Ones?

Well, uh, last week, you know,

we did a pretty extensive focus group...

with some of the kids

from Martin Luther King Elementary.

- Yeah?

- And it went great.

Tested 91% in the top three boxes.

They loved 'em.

What is it now, eight to a bag?

- No, no, no. You're thinking

about the Itty Bittys.

- Oh.

No, no. We figure three Little Big Ones

for each kid's meal...

is gonna work out about right.

But we wanna do a little more

testing on that as well.

- How about Disney?

- No word yet.

Also, the PBS deal

doesn't seem to be happening.

Uh, apparently Burger King and McDonald's

have the Teletubbies all locked up.

F*** 'em.

That's wonderful.

Yeah? You like that?

That's the Barbecue Big One.

Wow. Tastes like it's

right off the grill.

You don't think it needs liquid smoke

or any other kind of flavorings?

No. No, no, no.

I think it's perfect.

- Let's test that.

- Okay. Try this one.

- I don't know.

- Yeah. These Caribbean seasonings

are kind of tricky.

We're calling 'em

Calypso Chicken Tenders.

I think people are gonna

have an expectation for, uh...

maybe a touch of lime.

Oh, lime? Lime's easy.

I just held back on the terpinoline on this

to keep the flavorings subtle.

But I can always go back

and add more.

- Yeah. Why don't you try that?

- I'll keep working on it.

I really, really enjoyed it. You were wonderful.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Look, I gotta go.

I'll talk to you later.

Yeah, bye.

Thanks, Louise.

Donny boy. Have a seat.

Thanks for stopping by.

So, what do you think of everything?

It's good, good.

I'm glad to see the Big One doin' so well.

Hmm. Listen, you ever

run into a guy named Harry Rydell...

executive V.P.

out of the Chicago office?

I don't think so.

He works closely with our suppliers.

A little too closely, if you ask me.

What do you mean?

I have a friend that teaches food science

over at A&M- microbiology.

And this semester,

a couple of his grad students...

decided to culture some patties

from a bunch of fast-food chains.

- Mm-hmm.

- Well-

They got ahold of a couple

of Big Ones- frozen patties.

Don't ask me how.

And the fecal coliform counts

were just off the charts.

I'm concerned that this

could be a problem for us.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Uh- Not exactly.

I'm saying there's sh*t in the meat.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

"The drawbridge was down.

The great gate stood wide.

"I entered without challenge...

my own heels making

the only sounds I heard."

- Keep going.

- No.

- It's bedtime.

- Just one more.

- Please.

- No. That's it.

Good night, Stevie.

Hey.

- I think I may have to miss

your history exhibit on Thursday.

- Why?

Well, you know how Daddy has to go

out of town for work every now and then?

- Yeah, but I thought you didn't have to.

- Well, not as much.

But I gotta go to Colorado

for a couple of days.

All right? I'll be home

for the weekend though.

Okay.

I love you guys.

Too much E. coli in stuff. People could get sick.

Is that the one that can kill kids?

I don't know. I don't think so.

I mean,

nobody's gotten sick or anything.

But Jack says too much cow manure

is somehow getting into the meat.

That's disgusting.

That's my new job. Same office-

still dealing with bullshit.

Well, I guess it is a marketing issue after all.

If the kids die

from eating your burgers...

it makes them much harder to sell.

That's right. Marketing 101.

Don't kill the customer.

Bad for repeat business.

Mm-hmm.

Coco?

Coco?

Hi.

No.

I sent that form in. I paid it.

Hey, you tell that coach

and that whole f***ing league...

if he doesn't play,

I'm gonna kick all their asses.

S. Yeah, yeah.

I just did a pickup.

I'll talk to you later.

Gracias.

No.

- S.

- S.

Oh, God! Yeah!

You like the way that feels?

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh!

That's right, b*tch.

- Do you like it when I pull your hair?

- Yes! Yes, pull my hair!

- That's right, slut.

- I love it when you call me "slut."

Let's go. Stand up.

Yo. Stand up.

Come on. Stand up.

Hey!

Stand up.

What the f*** you doin'?

F***in' people on vacation.

Go.

Hang on a second.

Welcome to Mickeys.

Can I take your order?

Yeah. I'm thinkin' about a Big One.

Okay. Would you like

some large fries with that?

No. No, thanks. Not tonight.

- Our supervalue drink?

- I'll have a chocolate shake and a water.

All right. Would you like

any dessert with that?

- A brownie pie or a turnover?

- No, not tonight.

Okay. Uh, that'll be 4.98.

Okay. Here you go.

So, what's your favorite thing

on the menu?

I like everything.

Well, I know that's not true.

But you did give me

the correct answer.

I was just testing you. I'm actually

a vice president of marketing for Mickeys.

- Really?

- Yeah. It's true.

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