Fart: A Documentary

Synopsis: The history and humor of the fart
74 min

( farting )

Uh, Dad say,

"No more farts! "

When she farts,

it's always funny

Even if it smells

When I fart,

it's only sometimes funny

Depending on

a lot of factors

But when the dog farts,

it can be hilarious

To downright

goddamn dangerous

That air is toxic

Better hold your breath

Dog farts

How unfortunate, oh

Dog farts

Someone open a window

Dog farts

I think

he woke himself up

With that one

I thought, at last!

Somebody's making a film

about farting.

That's been

a long time coming.

I have to say at first when you

said that you were gonna do

a documentary on farting,

and I thought,

- Oh, my. Yeah.

- Who's gonna want

to watch that?

The first thing I said was,

"How can I be a part of this?"

Dog farts

How can a creature

so little

- Dog farts

- Make a smell so huge?

Because it's-- it's

a very interesting subject

and-- and underexplored,

and it's worthy

of closer attention.

- ( farting )

- ( audience laughs )

I'm now going to warm up--

warm up my sphincter myself

with a bit

of classical music.

( audience laughs )


My name is--

Do you want

my real name, or both names?

Real name

is Paul Oldfield.

But my alter ego,

because like any superhero

I need an alter ego

when I perform

my superhuman abilities.

- ( farting )

- Man:

So I metamorphasize

into Mr. Methane.

Male interviewer:

How-- how do you--

how do you prepare yourself

before you perform?

Um, I've been upstairs

in the dressing room

doing lots of stretches

and warm-ups.

- Okay.

- So, I've been tensing

using abdominals

so we're now fully relaxed.

- Okay, I see.

- So, uh...

They say in Spain and Brazil,

Seor Matano.

Okay, so, uh--

uh, what kind of activity

are we gonna see first?

First of all,

I've got a little bit

of fine talcum powder

and I'm going to sprinkle

a little bit on my bottom

so people can actually see

that I am breaking wind.

- Okay, so it's not a fake.

- That's exactly--

Because obviously people

sat at home...

- Uh...

- ( audience laughing )

- These...

- Yeah.

These-- these--

these people over here,

they've got what we call

"ringside seats."

- Yeah.

- ( laughing )



A little bit of talcum

on the bottom.

There we go.

- Like that.

- Okay.

Is it--

I haven't got a

rearview mirror.

- Is the, um...

- It looks very nice.

Is it well-covered?

- Okay.

- Yes, it's fantastic.

- Here we go.

- Thank you.

In Australia,

I-- down under,

I hold the record

for the most amount

of complaints

to a television show.

From five...



Four, three, two, one.

( audience guffaws )

All right!

Very good.

Can you guess

where this comes from?

( farting )

Mr. Methane.com


there is a Mr. Methane

website out there.

'Cause, if you're not

on the web now,

well, that's it.

- You're not in business.

- ( farting )

So, you know,

I've got a website,

Mr. Methane.com

Mr. Methane.com

( farting )

Male announcer:

The world's windiest website.

( farting )


Lovely. Lovely.

My background

field is actually

American literature.

But I developed

an interest in American humor.

I run the creative writing

program here.

And I teach a module

on how to write humor.


I happen to know,

features throughout

the history of humor.

I mean, I did a project

a few years back where

I went in search

of the oldest joke

in the world.

Um, we-- well,

you can't actually find the

oldest joke in the world

but the oldest joke

that I could find--

the oldest recorded joke,

in other words,

the oldest one-liner,

if you like,

is actually a fart joke.

( wind blowing )

( chattering )

( bongo drums playing )


Jim Dawson is my name,

and I write books.

I write books on, uh--

mainly non-fiction books.

Well, farting

was, it was--

it was a fairly

unexplored topic

back in 1997 and '98

when I wrote,

"Who Cut The Cheese?"

- Cut it!

- Who cut the cheese?

And when I pitched

it to my agent,

he-- he was extremely

happy to state,

he says, "I think

we can sell this book."

It seems to be,

as far his humorous potential,

it seems to be fair

the ubiquitous, I think,

across cultures

and throughout history.

And so,

the oldest recorded joke

is a fart joke

and fart jokes

are featured in jest books

throughout the ages.

It's about 4,000 years old.

And I'll tell you that joke

if you want to hear it.

Female interviewer:

Yeah, I do. I want

to hear it.

It's not...

- Don't expect too much of it.

- No, it's 4,000 years old.

It's all the-- exactly,

and it's the-- like all humor,

it's context dependent,

I suppose.

But it goes,

"Something that's never been

known since time immemorial

is a young lady

who didn't break wind

in her husband's embrace."

- Now, you're not

laughing, are you?

- No.

That's usually

the response I get to that.

Well first of all,

there's the sound of it.

( farting )

Or the sounds

of the funny little things...

- ( farting )

- ...that come out of it.

- ( farting )

- Oh!


Yeah, because--

Or it's 'cause that they

produce an embarrassing noise.

- ( fart )

- Man:
Many people...


Try to hide.

( farting )

( laughter )


this is awesome!

All right. Here--

here we go. Here we go.


( rock skipping,




( ricochet

sound continues )

- ( farts )

- ( woman laughs )

( chattering )

( train brakes hissing )

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote

Troy Hale

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Fart: A Documentary" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/fart:_a_documentary_8025>.

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