Synopsis: Star Wars fanatics take a cross-country trip to George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch so their dying friend can see a screening of Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) before its release.
Director(s): Kyle Newman
Production: The Weinstein Co.
Rotten Tomatoes:
90 min

When we're winning

We'll be singing

I get knocked down

but I get up again

You're never gonna

keep me down

I get knocked down

but I get up again

You're never gonna

keep me down

I get knocked down

but I get up again

You're never gonna

keep me down

I get knocked down

Halloween just got awesome, bitches!

Prepare for the entrance of Lord Vader.

Give yourself to the Dark Side.

It's the only way you can save-

You wore the same thing last year.

- You son of a bitch.

- I'm sorry, guys. My codpiece is killing me.

It's totally restricting my junk.

You're gonna spill it or fill it, dude?


- Hi.

- Oh, my God. It's been a long time.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

You are...

something with tampons.

I'm Picasso's Blue Period.

- Get it? Blue Period.

- Hmm.

And you are?

Corporate sleaze?

Car salesman.

I came straight from work, so this is-

- Weak as usual, Bottler.

- Thank you.

Are you here

for a reunion with the boys?

Nope. That's just a pleasant surprise.

Watch the cape, uh, uh-

Well, enter at your own risk.

Oh, my God.

You guys have both got to stop

perpetuating this myth...

that Boba Fett is some kind of bad-ass.

All right? He has a jet pack.

So did the Rocketeer.

- Really cool.

- Here we go.

When it comes time for battle, the man's

Michael Bay- all style, no substance.

If you diss the Fett again...

I will corn-hole you with a light saber!

Whoop, there it is

- Jesus. Is that Bottler?

- Whoop, there it is

- Hey, guys.

- Whoop, there it is

Whoop, there it is

You got a lot of nerve

showing your face around here.

Give Daddy a huggy.

- Yeah!

- Stop.

You little bastard, I missed you.

I hope that's just your blaster poking me.

- God, it's been parsecs.

- Yeah, it's good to see you too, man.

- Linus.

- Hmm.

- It's been, like, a year now, right?

- Three.

- You still drawing?

- No. I bailed on that shit after high school.

- How's life in the auto trade?

- Still second in command to the old man.

Um, you?

Comic book store's still afloat...

but the geeks aren't biting

like the old days.

- You?

- Get my money together so I can

start my detailing business.

I'm gonna call it the Hutch Touch.

That's funny. I could've sworn you were

delivering pizza and living in your mom's garage.

It's not a garage.

It's a carriage house.

Carriage house.

- How is your carriage?

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Hey, uh, have any of you guys

seen the phone jack?

Uh, no, but I have seen

the social retard...

who brought his Toughbook to a party.

- I promised Rogue Leader

I'd write her back tonight.

- Oh, God.

- She is my girlfriend.

- On-line girlfriend.

I met her in a Jedi chat room.

The woman is perfect.

She's intelligent and acerbic and, uh-

and a die-hard fan.

She's even got connections

inside the Lucas camp.

Who's also got

a man package and a goatee.

You guys are all just jealous

because she describes herself...

as a cross between

Sarah Michelle Gellar...

- and Janeane Garofalo.

Tell 'em how you described yourself.

I was perfectly honest with her.

- You said you looked like

a white Billy Dee Williams.

You called yourself white chocolate.

I am white chocolate.

Oh, oh! Windows, it's my turn.

- Give it to me.

- Midnight. Another day down.

Ah! Okay.

Official Episode I countdown...

is six months, 12 days,

eight hours and some change.

I would sell my soul to see

that movie right here right now.

Dude, I would sell my left nut.

And I only have the one nut.

- So you see how serious I am?

- I cannot listen to this shit

for another six months.

Oh, shush your mouth, woman.

You know, we could see the movie.

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Ernest Cline

Ernest Christy Cline (born March 29, 1972) is an American novelist, slam poet, and screenwriter. He is known for his novels Ready Player One and Armada; he also co-wrote the screenplay for the film adaptation of Ready Player One, directed by Steven Spielberg. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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"Fanboys" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 26 May 2020. <>.

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