F*** the Prom Page #3

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[sighs] No, it was fine.

I'm guessing you still don't

have a date for the prom.

You know my art show

is that night.

Ugh! Art is boring!

Prom is about sex.

Sex is exciting.

Look, I know you're kind

of a weirdo,

and getting laid

before graduation

is kind of a pipe dream.

But...

Maybe there's some

girl out there

who's weird just like you,

that's down to clown

on prom night.

What a classy male

role model I have.

What do you want

from me, Cole?

I was prom king.

I ruled over a night

where dozens of virginities

were laid to rest.

I think I want a DNA test

for my graduation present.

Forget it.

You're stuck with me

for life.

Ugh! Dad, come on!

[door closes]

[Maddy sobbing]

I know

this is inappropriate,

but I bet that girl

is a killer in the sack.

[knocking]

[knocking]

You okay?

I'm fine.

[cell phone vibrating]

[sniffling]

What happened, Maddy?

[sobbing]

Okay.

We don't have to talk.

We can just wait for my dad to shout

something offensive from my house.

It's okay.

It's a good distraction

from the fact that

I've been completely betrayed

by both my ex-bf and my ex-bff.

In a way...

it's not that surprising.

Prom and graduation are

just around the corner,

everyone is losing their minds

trying to create

one last set of picture perfect

memories they can post,

to prove how awesome

their high school

experience was.

You're right.

You know, it's been a while

since we hung out like this.

Does consoling you sobbing

constitute us hanging out?

Do you remember when

we drew those chalk outlines

of ourselves on the front sidewalk

and called the cops as a prank?

[laughs] Yeah.

Do you remember that transmutation

circle I added nearby?

Yeah, I do.

Did you ever

watch Brotherhood?

Oh, God. No.

Was it good?

Doesn't matter.

[cell phone chimes]

I thought he loved me.

You now what?

Screw him.

They are drama absurdity.

And I know you.

I see you at school,

and you are different from

all of the other popular kids.

Then why don't you

ever talk to me?

I could ask you

the same thing.

[cell phone chimes]

Cole, come on,

we're taking a selfie.

What? No.

No, no, no.

Yeah. Come on,

let's go.

Okay, but I've...

never done that before.

Wait...

You're a selfie virgin?

A surgeon?

Yes.

Oh, I am so taking

your selfie virginity.

Smile. Look happy.

[camera shutter

clicking rapidly]

Wait, why are you

taking so many?

"So many"?

I'm just getting started.

I have to take at least 40

before I can post.

What?

You'll get used to it.

What is your Insta,

so I can tag you.

Oh, no.

No, no need for that.

Give me your phone.

Come on, give me.

Wow, did you do these?

Uh, yeah.

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