Everybody Wants Some!! Page #3

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- I will not...

Dismount.

This is our third bar

of the afternoon, boys!

You one of the new freshmen?

- Yeah, Jake.

- Coma.

Hey, Alex Brumley.

Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

Nesbit. A pleasure.

Go get some glasses, Brumley.

Yeah, sure thing, dude.

Whoa, is...

Wait, Jay Niles isn't with you guys?

Who's Jay Niles?

You haven't heard of Jay Niles?

The second coming of Nolan Ryan.

Yeah, man, 95-mile-an-hour fastball.

Self-professed, mind you.

He's this intense f*** from Detroit,

who just kind of spouts out all his stats

and just talks about

what a pro prospect he is.

How'd that guy end up here?

Well, he's filling the obligatory quota.

You know, we have to have at least

two weirdos on every team.

Now we're full up.

Wait, Jay Niles, one. Two? Who's two?

You, you sawed-off drunk f***.

No, actually your roommate,

Beuter, the hayseed.

- Ah.

- Can we agree?

We can agree.

I thought his name was Billy Autrey.

Oh, it was, until we changed it

to the most country bumpkin name

we could come up with.

Beuter Perkins.

Beuter!

Hey, you guys sure Coach

isn't gonna know if we've been drinking?

F***, Brumley,

you've seriously asked that at every bar.

"Are you sure Coach

isn't gonna know if we've been drinking?

"What if he smells my breath?"

We're f***ing drinking, man!

That's what we're doing!

- Yeah, we are.

- Okay? Yeah.

Cheers for the beers.

What is that brown sh*t on your lip?

I thought it was like a light,

like a shadow on your lip, but it...

- Is that a mustache?

- Yeah.

Ugh!

I'm sorry. Don't touch it. Don't...

Ew. Stop.

- Oh!

- Ugh!

Yeah, it's a mustache.

That's a mustache.

- It's growing.

- Was that hair?

Full throttle to the bottle.

Shut up, Brumley.

Why does he keep

saying things like that?

Finn, I'm seriously

worried about these new guys. I mean...

It's gonna be a strange year, man.

- Hey, whoa!

- Oh!

If you haven't met yet,

I'd like to introduce you

to the new guys on the team.

Freshman Ty Plummer, catcher.

Stand up, Ty. Come on, son.

Alex Brumley, outfield.

Hey, guys.

Sit down.

All right. Jake Bradford

and Billy Autrey, both freshman pitchers.

Also, I'm taking a leap

this year on two transfers,

trying to shore up our pitching staff.

From California,

senior Charlie Willoughby.

Stand up, Willoughby.

Guys.

And from Detroit, Jay Niles.

All right.

For you vets, I expect you

to show the new guys around.

Hopefully be a positive

influence on them.

I'd appreciate that, all right?

Wake up, Coma!

Okay, for the eight of you

living in this house

and the eight of you living next door,

there's gonna be

some guidelines for living here.

The city's been generous enough

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