Erotic Liaisons

Good evening,

ladies and gentlemen.

The movie you're about to watch

"Les Liaisons rotiques",

is just a plagiary from the

novel "Spring's Suicides",

written by our famous

French writer Raymond Marlot.

This is nothing but a pure product of the

triumphantyen made by the Japanese,

that nation of hard-working ants,

solely for a Japanese audience.

Don't get fooled by the fact

that the story is set in Paris.

Paris is just the setting of the film.

I'm convinced the Cannes Festival organisers

will refuse to select such a stupid work.

Japan is Europe's enemy.

I strongly advise all the audience

to leave this theatre immediately.

President Mitterand is in tears.

Long live France, long live France,

glory to France, good-bye.

What are you damn

Japs doing here?

That's why I told you

we should buy a Japanese car.

- How are you?

- Good, and you?

Two coffee with milk.

As usual?

Thank you.

JAPANESE TOUR GUIDE AND DETECTIVE

Alright, I'll be right there.

Madam, is it time

to wave that flag again?

We don't have a choice.

This is the only job available right now.

That's because of your

stupid sign outside.

We wouldn't survive without it.

You should appreciate me more.

Here we are, the Eiffel Tower.

Please stay together.

Watch your step, please.

This way.

Everyone, please stay in line.

Stay in line please.

This way.

Hello, Kishin Shimoyama

Detective Office. Good day.

An investigation?

Here, Kishin.

- I'm Okuyama, the one who called.

- Please come in.

Chief is tied up at the moment.

Would you wait please?

Chief, the client is here.

Remember now,

act self-important.

I see.

You believe someone

slept with your mistress,

and you want me to

find some evidence to prove it.

Excuse me, how much

is this worth to you?

No further, we'll do it.

Excuse me, this way.

Take care.

Let me handle this.

I'm the bookkeeper.

This is payback for your meals,

remember?

And this is for the rent,

water, utilities, books...

This is for you.

Wait a minute...

You said

we could go to the disco.

Hi, Sandra.

- Long time no see, Rie.

- I've been busy.

Your date?

- No, he's my uncle.

- Hello, I'm Jon.

- Reserve a dance for me later?

- Alright.

That's terrible, calling me your "uncle. "

Would you rather

be my "boyfriend?"

- Would you like a drink?

- Drink?

The usual?

- I'd like to see a menu.

- Okay.

By yourself?

I'm alone too,

and a bit bored.

Kishin... Kishin... Wake up!

Your breakfast is ready.

Come over.

Alright.

Don't be lazy.

It's rare for you to be working.

- Don't forget the camera and microphone.

- I know.

- Some more?

- A little bit.

If something happens,

I'll be at the office all day.

I know.

Whenever I see a good looking

woman, I always imagine...

...her naked,

getting out of a bath.

- Good day. Is the boss in?

- He's not here yet.

Sorry, Sir, this is a woman's gym.

Not for men, sorry.

No men allowed.

Good afternoon, Sir.

Miss Loren is here.

Do not trash the Paris streets.

Damn Japs have no manners...

- Good afternoon, Sir. Can I help you?

- Yes. Coffee with milk.

Nice looking tattoo.

I know.

You don't need to tell me.

F*** you.

Leave me the f*** alone.

Damn you to hell.

What language is that?

Moroccan. You speak French, right?

Me? I'm not very good

at it because I'm Japanese.

What a f***ing nuisance.

This guy is a goddamn jerk.

Leave me.

Leave me the f*** alone.

Do you speak Esperanto?

Speak English?

What is going on here?

Is she fooling around

with this old guy too?

This mansion is known

as the Bourgeoisie Social Club.

High society Japanese

are spending their money here.

It's been a long time.

Since I've been gone,

you've become more beautiful.

Oh, come on now.

Hey, the couple who just came in...

Do they come here often?

Just recently.

But they're real party people.

Are they outrageous?

Especially that woman.

What's the matter?

Can I use your phone?

You forgot the microphone?

I reminded you this morning.

Where are you right now?

- Here.

- I'm sorry.

- Hello.

- Hello.

How are you?

Two coffee with milk.

We've got the evidence.

We'll give him the photos and the tape,

and pick up the rest of the money.

But he wasn't her only lover.

Cool.

But I can't believe

she's really that kind of woman.

From her voice,

I think she's a passionate woman.

You're blinded by pretty women.

I think it's Okuyama's fault.

You need to make a report to him.

But if she's having many affairs,

we could charge more.

I've decided.

I'm going to drop the case.

Kishin, do you have feelings for that...

She smiled at me,

then she winked.

When?

While I was peeping at her.

What are you saying?

That woman knew

I was spying on her.

So you're saying

she did everything on purpose?

I don't know.

That's just your imagination.

I don't think so.

She smiled atme.

That's weird.

But we can't afford to drop this job.

I will solve the mystery.

With your help, of course.

The woman winked at

the detective hired by her boyfriend.

Do you understand what's on her mind?

I'm trying to figure it out.

I got it.

The woman realized

you were a detective on her tail.

She doesn't want you

to disclose her infidelity,

so she tried to flirt with you.

That could be the right answer.

It must be.

So now we can expect her counter-offer.

Counter-offer?

Yes. We'll do business with

whoever gives the better offer.

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