Ernest Saves Christmas Page #5

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Ahhhh!

[ Whoosh ]

Do you remember anything | about the cab,

beside the fact | that it was yellow?

No ''Worrell'' at City Cab.

I can try Metro.

I kept track of him | until he was 1 1 or so;

Ernest, I mean.

What a good boy.

Not very bright.

He grew up with this guy.

I think his name was Vern.

What is with you and this rummy?

You've already blown | your appointment with Derek.

He's a nice old man. | He seems a little confused.

I think we can | take a little time to help him out.

All right, all right.

Head on over there.

I'll help Mr. Whiskers | find his whatever-it-is,

and meet you at the studio.

Mr. Santos, listen, I'm sorry,

but I have an appointment | I really have to keep.

Marty will take care of you.

But,Joe, | really need to talk to you.

[ Marty ] Yes,yes,yes, | whatever it is, Mr. Santos,

you can tell me. | I'm Marty Brock,Joe's agent.

So, Mr. Santos, | do you live around here?

No. I have to go and find Joe. | Excuse me.

Do you have any family, | any friends, any money?

I had some U.S. currency; | rather a large amount.

I gave it away last year...

to a 5-year-old named | Bobby Bidderman.

What about now, Mr. Santos?

The name is Santa Claus.

Ooh.

Why don't you just | stay right here...

and I'll take care of everything.

Okie-dokie?

Good.

Yes.

Such a nice man.

[ Ernest ] | Vern, what a guy.

Yeah, me and Vern | go back a long way.

We spend the holidays together.

I help him work on his house | and stufflike that.

Me and old Vern are tighter | than stretched duct tape.

I guess you could say | we're cut from the same bark.

Old Vern's done pretty good | for himself, though.

If it weren't for me, | he wouldn't be where he is today.

I taught him all he knows | about nuclear physics.

Know what I mean?

Yeah, Vern's always happy to see me.

He's my best buddy, | and he throws the greatest parties.

Course, we're a little early, | so we can help him decorate,

and maybe put out the food.

Those little finger sandwiches,

and cheeseballs, and bean dip!

I hope he's got | something I can eat,

not just lots of things | made of white sugar and red meat.

I think eating red meat | makes people overly aggressive.

They kill people and stuff.

Know what I mean?

You're as right as rain, puddin'.

Pork's my meat.

Ho, ho, ho, Vern! | Merry Christm--

I thought you said this Vern | was a friend of yours.

Vern's just like that.

He'll do anything for a laugh.

Come on.

- It's Santa's little party helper! | - Hi!

- This is Harmony. | - [ Crack ]

She's been having a tough time, | so I'm helping her out.

You know, | kind of a ''father image'' thing.

''As the twig is bent, | so grows the tree.''

Know what I mean?

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