Erik the Viking Page #6

ERIK'S GRANDAD

What are you doing, Erik? Thorfinn just said SVEN'S GRANDFATHER

died of old age.

INGEMUND THE OLD

They must fight to the death.

THORFINN SKULL-SPLITTER

That's right! Sven must kill me.

OTHERS:

Yes. Stay out of this. What's it to do with you?

(etc)

Sven grids his teeth and struggles to get at Thorfinn, but Erik still keeps them apart.

ERIK:

Aren't you afraid of death, Thorfinn Skull-Splitter?

Thorfinn shrugs.

THORFINN:

Not death by the sword! It means I shall drink in Valhalla with the great warriors.

Cut away To Harald Missionary engaged in his usual business of chatting up any available female.

HARALD MISSIONARY

You don't still believe in all that Valhalla stuff, do you?

THORHILD THE FEMALE

Go away.

HARALD:

Fine... right... just checking.

He moves off.

ERIK:

And you, Sven, aren't you afraid of crossing the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard?

SVEN:

I will join my grandfather there.

THORFINN:

He's not in Valhalla! He died of old age!

SVEN:

You liar!

They start trying to kill each other again, and crash through a fence into the pig-sty. Pigs squeal and run in all directions.

ERIK:

Stop it!

OTHERS:

Leave them alone! Keep out of it, Erik!

The others pull Erik away.

GRANDAD:

There's only one way to settle it.

EVERYONE:

Yes!

THORFINN:

He MUST kill me!

EVERYONE:

Yes! That's right!

(etc)

Sven struggles again to oblige, and they both topple into the duck pond. Erik dives back to keep them apart.

ERIK:

There is another way.

GRANDAD:

Who gets killed?

ERIK:

Nobody gets killed.

THORFINN:

Oh, well...

He starts attacking Sven again. Erik decides there is only one way to make his point. He lets fly with his fists and lays both the antagonists out for a moment.

ERIK:

But it will be dangerous. Maybe none of us will return.

SNORRI THE MISERABLE

Ah well, that's much more sensible than just Thorfinn getting killed. Shall we all go and pack now?

SVEN:

What are you talking about, Erik?

ERIK:

What if we could find Bi-Frost the Rainbow Bridge?

This causes a sensation amongst everyone watching, on the lines of "You can't do that" and so on. They scoff at Erik.

THORFINN:

(in disbelief)

FIND the Rainbow Bridge?

ERIK:

Find it... AND cross it!

Super-sensation amongst everyone - except for Harald Missionary who shakes his head sadly.

HARALD:

Look! You can't find somewhere that doesn't exist.

GRANDAD:

(to Harald)

Shut up!

Harald shrugs.

SVEN:

Only the dead reach Asgaard, Erik.

ERIK:

What's the matter? Are you afraid to try?

Thorfinn and Sven are put on the defensive.

THORFINN:

Of course we're not afraid to try, but...

Erik rounds on Thorfinn, sensing he had the advantage.

ERIK:

"But" what?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes