Entertainment

Synopsis: En route to meet his estranged daughter and attempting to revive his dwindling career, a broken, middle-aged comedian plays a string of dead-end shows in the Mojave desert.
Genre: Drama
Director(s): Rick Alverson
Production: Magnolia Pictures
  1 win & 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
65
Rotten Tomatoes:
82%
R
Year:
2015
103 min
$55,506
Website
125 Views


How's everybody feeling?

Now, if you would like

to wander,

please feel free to do so,

um, but be very careful

for potholes and snakes

that may occur anywhere.

And any other areas,

like the fuselage areas,

please be careful, but by

all means go ahead and wander.

What's the difference,

what's the difference

between Courtney Love

and the American flag?

It would be wrong to urinate

on the American flag.

Ooh, yeah.

What do you get...

What do you get

when you cross Sir Elton John

with a saber tooth tiger?

I don't know, but you better

keep it away from your ass!

All right, so this is

a fun crowd.

We got some other gags here,

gang.

Why don't rapists...

Why don't rapists eat

at T.G.I. Friday's?

Well, it's hard

to go out and rape

when you have a stomach ache.

Thank you,

ladies and gentlemen.

Can you answer for me, did this

used to be a Days Inn?

I really don't know. 'Cause I-

I was swearing

I was here, uh...

in 2005 or something,

and it was a Days Inn.

Hi, sweetheart. It's Daddy.

I'm in the desert,

and it's beautiful.

It's hot, but,

but it's beautiful.

And, um, today

I took a tour of an airplane

graveyard they have out here,

and they got every plane

you can think of:

737, 747, jumbo jets.

And you just walk

right into the planes.

And, um...

I, uh, I will talk

to you again soon.

Good night.

Why...

Why?

Why did Madonna feed her infant

baby Alpo brand dog food?

Well, she had no choice,

that's just what

came out of her breasts.

Eww.

Yeah...

Okay, so this is a fun crowd.

Why...

Why did E.T.,

the Extra Terrestrial,

love Reese's Pieces so much?

Well because they have

the same flavor that cum does

on his home planet.

Yeah, right.

Why...

Why did God

let John Denver die?

Because you suck.

Come on.

How we doin' for time?

Time's up.

It's a rhetorical question

weirdo, huh?

Speak your complaints into a

man's penis, not into thin air,

because I'll tell ya,

these hardworking imbeciles here

that paid their money

to come here

and forget their problems

for one night,

laugh their fool heads off,

and they didn't pay to listen

to you, huh,

and your garbage talk.

You're not

a professional comedian.

You're a professional loser,

huh?

You're a professional fatso!

What's your problem?

Jesus Christ, can't you

just sit there with a smile

splattered on your stupid face,

huh?

Laugh your fool head off,

but shut your fool mouth!

- Neil!

- Hey.

Cousin John.

- Hi, John.

- How ya doin'?

- Good.

- I made it out.

It was great.

Really great stuff. Funny.

Thanks for coming to the show.

Yeah, I was like, this'll...

this'll shock 'em.

Yep.

I don't know how you

remember all that stuff.

Yeah, it's a lot of stuff.

If it was me,

I'd just be:
Uh...

Yeah.

That one guy,

he was out of line.

That was...

Yeah, they should...

They should have security or

something to take him out

because it just makes it hard

for me to do my job.

- Exactly.

- It makes it...

People are paying money

for me to do my job

and then he does that

and then it just...

It just ruins the night

for everyone.

- Yeah.

- You know, it's...

- Just doin' my job, you know.

- Right.

You're out there,

you're doin' your job.

Just trying to make

a nice night for people.

Yeah. You're the star,

he's in the audience.

You shut him up good thought.

Yeah. Well, he's just a drunk,

you know?

That's a lot... That's...

That's what we do in

this business really is sell...

We're selling alcohol,

you know.

That's why they will book me

in a place like this

is to sell more alcohol,

you know.

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Rick Alverson

Rick Alverson is an American independent filmmaker living in Richmond, VA. His films have been characterized by their departure from traditional 3 act structure, use of unscripted dialogue, and confrontational nature. more…

All Rick Alverson scripts | Rick Alverson Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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